Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

How to politely tell someone they are not using my correct name?

My name is Natasha but I have gone by Ash almost my whole life except in my professional life (which is an uncommon nickname derived from Natasha, I know). I recently started dating a guy who I met about a year ago through friends. I was introduced by our mutual friend as Ash and all my social media has my name as Ash. He took me to meet his family a week ago and introduced me as Ashley. I've told him that it's short for Natasha and have even showed him my license which he refuses to believe I've because my Ash just isn't an unusual nickname for Natasha. His parents now call me ashley which is a pet peeve of mine as i've had to deal with this confusion all my life. I was going to just leave it be because I feel rude correcting his parents but it's bothering me more and more. How do I politely correct them without my boyfriend getting mad and breaking up with me?

Update:

response to anonymous: yes, I should have clarified my age. I'm 26 and he is 28

6 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Find a reason to show your driver's license or ID of some kind with Natasha on it.  Ask to see ID photos.  See who has the best one.  & of course they will examine the rest of the ID & learn your real name.  Where a necklace that says your name.  Put your name on your purse.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    the same way you told us

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Yikes.  You're with a guy who refuses to use your name and then, much worse, you're worried he'll get mad if you want his parents to correct this?  I wish you'd given your age, but when you mention professional life, it doesn't sound like you're 16.  That's the only reason a statement like that would make any sense.

    I don't know what to tell you.  In a normal relationship, you'd explain to him that your name is Natasha and you go by Ash.  There's nothing odd or complicated here.  Then you'd ask him to talk to his parents and inform them this is what you go by.  What made you think it's YOUR job to tell them?  You just started dating him!  Even if you were married and something needed to be discussed w/  his parents, he's the one who should do it.

    So I don't know.  Something seems wrong here.

  • 1 month ago

    Calling total BS on this one! 

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  • 1 month ago

    To quote a famous saying, “a person’s name to him or her is the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” As for your boyfriend, if he can’t or maybe won’t understand or believe that your name is Natasha, he isn’t the one who should be getting mad and breaking up with you. You should be getting mad at him or at the very least calling him on it. It’s disrespectful and rude and really just not smart. Do you really want to date someone like that? As far as the parents go, Ash, a little bit of quiet but firm diplomacy is needed. I say this as a married man who has learned this in dealing with in-laws. It ain’t easy when your first impulse might be to be uh demonstrative and rather vocal. But you might try quietly and diplomatically take them aside and explain that your name is really Natasha and not Ashley and that you have gone by Ash as a nickname. And say I understand that this is uncommon nickname for my real name but things just evolved that way I guess and I like is so please call me Ash or Natasha. And don’t forget to politely thank them. Politely remind them of your name when they slip. Don’t badmouth the boyfriend to his parents that he told his parents the wrong name. Give it a little time but if either your boyfriend or his parents aren’t getting it and it annoys you, end the relationship and move on. Life is too freakin short to be in a relationship where they can’t get your name right. Good luck!

  • 1 month ago

    Just correct them, and tell them it's a common mistake to make because you have an unusual nickname for your real name. If your boyfriend breaks up with you for that, he's not worth your time. 

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