Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

How to cope with break up?

My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me suddenly yesterday. We had never had a bump that we couldn’t push through and come out stronger. He is balancing college and a fulltime job and he just became so stressed that he mentally couldn’t handle being in a relationship. We decided to just be friends and stay close, and when he gets everything with his life sorted out, he said he’d come to me first. I have hope for the future but thinking back on everything hurts so much because we made so many memories together. He wants to hang out like normal, and despite saying that it’s tough for him, he’s not really seeming sad at all. I’m here crying constantly because I’m scared to wait for him, only for him to find someone else, and I know where I’m at now I couldn’t find someone else. I’m just so broken and I miss him so much and I don’t know what to do except cry and grieve. I want to wait for him, but I also don't want to chase a lost cause. 

7 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    Lean on your friends, it's the only thing that helps me cope at such times. 

  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    You will get over this. He is right about working and college, he does not have the time he would like to have a relationship. Feelings may drift for each other. This one you will have to try to play it out and see how this works out for you both. All you can do now is try to work it out with him, but if its too much for either one of you, you will have to move on. This happens all the time with one in college and trying to do a full time job. How about you taking some college yourself? It can never hurt to be on the same page as him. And it cannot hurt your future either. Being in the same boat as him, just might be a answer for you both. Think about it. Many couples go to the same college all the time. If its something you may like to do, talk to him.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe someday you'll get another boyfriend

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    From what you are saying I think you would be best of taking a bit of time away from your ex. I think obsessing over him will only cause you to become anxious and upset. On the contrary, by keeping yourself busy and occupied you will find that you will move on quicker. Think about it: if your mind is focused on something else then it can't drift into thinking about your ex. In saying that, after a few weeks you can start thinking of possible solutions to resolve the complications that caused you to break up in the first place. If your ex is willing to compromise you can propose these to him. However, I would recommend taking things slowly if you look to resume your relationship. Remember, you broke up for a reason and getting back to where you once were takes time. I really hope this helps :)

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  • Ana
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    It sounds like he’s improving his life and you’re not improving yours. At your age, you need to be planning for the future, FINANCIALLY.


    Boys come and go, but your future is forever. 

  • 1 month ago

    It sounds like you need some professional counseling to help you talk through this. It's often available for little or no fee through health insurance. Almost everyone needs counseling at some point in their lives.

    A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).  

    My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), stop seeing this guy unless he’s a strong person with whom you feel you could one day develop mutual true love with, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less. 

    (Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

    Hope this helps!

    Source(s): True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults, Straight Talk About Teen Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 13-19, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
  • Embery
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Better you found out now, he's a beta, let it go.

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