Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 3 weeks ago

so im in love with my guy best friend and ive been hinting too him abt it for a while but how to i tell him i love him?

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  • 3 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    You probably shouldn’t start with “I love you” 

    Why don’t you ask him to hang out, and when you’re together just tell him you like him 

  • 3 weeks ago

    I wouldn't tell him anything unless he's a strong guy and you're willing to make a lifelong commitment to him.

    Could you possibly be confusing having the feeling of being "in love" and true love?

    Here's some information about love from the books True Love Lasts, Straight Talk About Teen Dating, and Straight Talk About Dating:

    “Unfortunately, lots of people don’t know what true love is and that’s a big reason why a large number of marriage relationships are unhappy. Many people think that true love is just a feeling. You know, the wonderful head spinning feeling of being “in love.”

    If true love is just a feeling, feelings come and go. But true love doesn't come and go. True love is patient and kind. It isn’t jealous, rude, selfish, controlling, or easily angered. It forgives. It’s supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.

    Unlike the feeling of being “in love” which is relatively easy to get especially during dating, true love usually develops slowly over a significant period of time (often years). In order to develop true love for someone you really have to know them well – which means that you have had a chance to observe their behavior in all types of situations (pay special attention to how they react when things go wrong or they don’t get their way). True love is so much more than just the feeling of being “in love” - it’s supposed to be a mutual lifelong commitment. When you say that you love your significant other, you’re saying that you’re committed to loving them for the rest of your life - for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death do you part. True love lasts - it almost never fails.

    Think of it this way, if a person has true love for another person, it’s like the sun - it’s always there no matter what (remember that even at night, the sun is still there, it’s just shining on the other side of the earth - and when it’s cloudy outside the sun is also still there, it’s just behind the clouds).

    On the other hand, the feeling of being “in love” is like sunshine - even though we’d like it to be sunny every day, the truth is that the amount of sunshine changes regularly. Some days it’s nice and sunny and the feeling of being “in love” is strong, on others it’s partly cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is there but it’s not very strong, and on other days it’s cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is barely there at all. I’m hoping that this explanation is helping you to see that it’s possible for a person to have true love for another person and not have a strong intense feeling of being “in love” with that person at a particular moment. (If you talk with married couples, I think they’ll tell you that the strength of their feelings of being “in love” changes regularly.)

    So when you hear someone say, “I don't love him or her anymore” - take it for what it usually is. It’s usually someone saying that they’ve lost the feeling of being “in love”, that they don’t know how or they’re not willing to make the effort required to get the feeling back, and that they probably never had true love for their significant other to begin with because true love almost never fails.

    Many times I’ve heard young women say, “my boyfriend loves me.” Unfortunately, most of these women have been fooled. How could their boyfriend possibly have true love for them if their boyfriend doesn’t even know what true love is? Sadly many people marry when one or both people don't have true love for the other - and the result is usually divorce because it's hard to keep a marriage together when it's based only on the feeling of being "in love."

    My first suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already). A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), puts forth their best effort, and displays self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money).

    It’s going to be tough, but my second suggestion is that you break up with this guy in a kind way unless he’s a strong person with whom you feel you could one day develop mutual true love with, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

    (Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

    Hope this helps!

    Source(s): True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults, Straight Talk About Teen Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 13-19, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    If he's not picking up on your hints, not hinting back, there's a reason.

    The reason is probably that he doesn't want you to do something so awkward as declare your love. 

    Believe me, he's already noticed that you're very wrapped up in him. And he can live with declarations that you admire him wonderfully, cherish his friendship, treasure your time with him, respect his character, appreciate his thoughtfulness and so on. But an "I love you" declaration carries an unspoken "I'm so very vulnerable that you must be careful what you do and say or I'll be terribly hurt" message. 

    That puts a lot of pressure on your bestie, pressure he'd probably rather not have. Better to keep quiet about your feelings lest that pressure cause him to feel resentful of you. 

  • Merry
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    So... You have feelings for your boyfriend's best friend? 

    Yes it happens.. it happens a lot.

    But it NEVER ends well. 

    It breaks trust, destroys bonds, ruins friendships and changes the way people approach relationships forever. 

    Break up with your current boyfriend.

    Give it 6-12 months and then decide if it's worth it... BUT... be warned - a guy who will go for his mates girlfriend might not have the qualities that make you happy

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  • 3 weeks ago

    You could just tell him.  He must have an idea, at least that you like him, but we guys can be fairly dense - I wouldn't assume even that. Well, nothing verntured, nothing gained - at least consider just telling him.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    if he loved you he would have asked you out bur he never did 

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