Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 3 weeks ago

My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex?

I have dated many guys in the past who always enjoyed cuddling and physical affection. However, my current boyfriend says that he is "repulsed" by it. Which I find highly unusual and kind of offensive. I'm a very pretty girl and my boyfriend is tall, strong, and handsome but he has weird quirks. 

For example, after I lost my virginity to him he didn't want to have sex with me afterwards and it hurt me deeply. Since then our sex life has decreased and it's been very hard without receiving physical affection and love from him. I love him so much and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me but I just don't know what to do.

Please help me?


I'm 18 years old and he is 20 years old. I know he's not gay or cheating on me because he barely leaves the house because of his fear of germs. 

16 Answers

  • 2 weeks ago

    How do you know he's not gay? Either he doesn't like sex, he's gay, or he just doesn't like sex WITH YOU! 

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    He could be like me a cuckold; when I was married at first I pretended to be uninterested in sex and eventually my wife started having secret little meetings with strangers, she was young and really beautiful and had needs. Once I discovered this we started having sex again, she asked me why the interest in sex again and I told her that I knew what she had been doing. Strange thing was she was initially disgusted by my fetish but she got over it, I was never allowed to watch and never really wanted to, I just enjoyed the suspense before she came back home after a night out. We've been together for 44 years and we still have a lot of sex, probably more than most married people.

  • 3 weeks ago

    it does not sound like a good match. Saying that sex repulses him is a very bad sign which cannot be fixed.. The best thing to do is to get out of the relationship as you cannot fix whatever is wrong with him. There are other guys out there who would be a better match for you so get out of this mess while you can. 

  • 3 weeks ago

    There ir may be a few things to consider...

    1)Does he have the man version of tokophobia... Fear of babies and may be avoiding sex just incase. (rare for men but is possible). 

    2)A sexual... Just isn't interested in sex

    3)Or when you mentioned he has a fear of germs.. Maybe he's afraid of sex as he may have OCD. Maybe the thought of sweating and sharing germs and all is too much for him. Not saying you are dirty but people with OCD would find the cleanest of things dirty, so I don't mean it offensively. 

    Maybe try asking him why he's not into sex? Or use reverse psychology and say something like 'I know someone who doesn't believe in sex before marriage, I'm not sure on it either, what do you think?'. See his reaction. 

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  • 3 weeks ago

    I'm not going to give you the knee jerk "he's gay" answer like everyone else (although it did cross my mind)  But I will say this ... at 20 years old he should be an absolute horn dog.  If this is his sex drive at 20, I can't imagine it will get much better.  I'm sorry.  And it is totally ok to break up with someone over difference in sex drive.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Find a boyfriend for yourself and him. is he gay?

  • 3 weeks ago

    Sorry to hear you're going through this, it can't be easy when you care about him so much. You need to decide what you are ok with. If you have tried to speak to him about it and he is against sex and he wont seek help to change that, you have 2 choices. You can continue to date him knowing full well you'll never have sex, or you can break it off and find a partner who whats the same things from a relationship that you want. 

    Here's the thing, if he is being honest about what he wants and he is willing to share that with you, you have to be brave enough to know what you want and be honest about it. Suppressing your need to have a physical romantic relationship isn't going to do anyone any favours. You will continue to feel a hole in the relationship and you'll start to resent him. 

    Relationships need to be equal, there needs to be give and take on both sides. I hope you can do what you need to and that you find the love and relationship you deserve.   

  • 3 weeks ago

    Your boyfriend is either gay, asexual, or has some kind of deep, psychological problem. If he'll attend a couples counselor with you, you should go. If he won't, you might want to consider that you have no future together.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Yea its called game or pick up but like a more sinister version of it,  hes doing these things to keep you attracted and needy, hes controlling your feelings and behaviour with his .

    Everytime he pulls away you want to get closer and thats why he keeps pulling away 

    Source(s): How old is he and how old are you?
  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago


    absolutely nobody:

    not a soul:

    Anon: My BoYfRiEnD dOeSn'T wAnT tO hAvE sEx?

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