Sarah asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Should I step in, family drama?

I have sister-in-law my brother's wife she is causing a bit of drama lately. I am not sure if I should say something or not. My brother and his wife have 2 kids 5 and 6 with another on the way. They are recovering addicts, so majority of the time our family took care of the kids. The sister-in-law stays in her room all day, and won't come out of her room even when the kids need her, on the off chance she does it is very rare. They live with my Mom and Brother who is disabled. She has recently started not letting us see the kids, when I come over she takes them into their room and doesn't let them out. My son is 5 loves his cousins, today he knocked on the door she told him no they are not coming out. It is a small room, they share with their parents. My mom shared with me that she does this when my brother leaves for work, but usually she locks the room and makes the kids stay in the living room, so my mom and disabled brother take care of them. It is a very dysfunctional family we have. The sister-in-law has gotten worse, she only will talk to us through my brother. She told the kids, they are having to move because my brother and mom keep the house dirty. She even told them they can't eat food from my disabled brother or mom because they are dirty. She has done nothing for her kids, she has sat in her room while my parents have taken care of her for the last 10 years. Our family puts up with for the kids, now she is keeping them from us. What should I do???

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  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    That's not okay. Your sister in law is experiencing psychological issues that need to be addressed and it's not safe for those kids to bear the brunt of it. They are at the age where it is critical to teach them foundations and social skills. I would absolutely step in if I were you. Try to talk to her one on one without the kids around - enlist your parents to help distract the kids in the yard with a new sandbox of toys that will keep them busy for a while.

    Tell your SIL that you are here for her, concerned about her and want to help. Don't be accusatory, show that you genuinely care. Listen to her patiently; bite your tongue when she spits insults - just nod your head and hear her out entirely. Her head is not right; likely from (hopefully past & not present) drug use. Paranoia about cleanliness is an indicator of hard drug use. After hearing her out, attempt to bring a counselor or mental health professional into the situation. Don't be dissuaded if she threatens to take the kids and leave on her own because she won't. Even if she tried your family could stop her from removing the kids from a safe home to who knows what. She needs help. If she refuses to get help then it's time for her to go somewhere else and allow the kids to have a normal life without her messing them up. Be kind, patient and most of all be firm. The kids come first. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i would wonder why shes hiding them, maybe you should have that checked out

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Your mom needs to have a very long talk with your brother. He also needs to move out, she needs mental help, and she needs to get out of the room, and take care of the kids and help around the house, instead of complaining its dirty. You mom does not need all of this crap, she needs to give your brother 60 days to get out.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    she is right. they probally have to move. and how u know she hasnt done anything. maybe she wants to move, but he doesnt? and shes trying to Ignore the kids on purpose, to make u feel some sort of empathy, that what living conditions the kids are in. Maybe she wanted u to explain to the brother. BUT instead ur dumbass turned this on her. if she was so insensitive, she would have seperated the kids from the dad, and taken to a cleaner environment. she loves him. its ur stupid fake lady that is a hypocrite. Lysol , pumpkin spice smelling room dweller will act mighty and tough elsewhere. u are a *****.

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