Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 4 weeks ago

Why my dad worries about me as if I'm still a 14 years old boy ?

I'm 20 years old and live in my own apartment. My father always tries to make sure that I'm in my apartment by 10pm or else he won't be sleeping and text or call me every 15 mins. 2 weeks ago, I got invited to a party and he tells me that I'm an adult but he doesn't want me to go. I felt bad because he wouldn't sleep all day till I'm home and he's a doctor and works hard so I didn't want him going to work tired. Also when I'm not home at nights, he doesn't sleep until I get home and text him that I'm home. 

I'm a 20 years old man, why does he worry about me as if I'm still 14? 

22 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Parents worry about their children all the time and it’s normal.  That’s called parent love.  Plus now he’s more worried than ever because of the Covid.  

    When you become a parent, you will understand.  For now, try to please him.  Be good to your dad, he’s not going to be around forever.  

  • 4 weeks ago

    ask your dad those questions.

  • Jane
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    He is experiencing anxiety, that is more about his mental health than about his parental concern .It's natural for parents to worry that their sons and daughters are safe, however he should by now understand that you are an adult, and that he has done all that he can to teach you how to live a good a safe life. 

    This doesn't mean that he cannot love and support you any longer- this will continue throughout your lives and it is mutual-it means that it is time for him attend to his own well-being now that you are more independent.

    Of course when he insists on these calls you experience this as controlling, but if you look deeper I think you will see that he is troubled himself.

    So you can message to tell him you're fine. And then when you call him, ask him how he is doing, switch him off from obsessing abut you and encourage him to take care of himself.

  • Carmen
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    As mentioned it’s because he loves and care about you and worried as a parent because he knows the critical times we living in with so much crime hatred injustices and he knows unforeseen occurrences can befall us all. He knows there are a lot of bad influences out there to and peer pressure so he is doing what a real father does count your blessings and always honor your parents even if you don’t understand the way of thinking or agree with it. At least he has your back and best interest at heart not all kids can say that. Being a certain age doesn’t stop real parents from worrying about their child-children if anything we worry more as time goes by not so much because of the child personally just the outside world they are facing. We carry our child-children for 9 months in the womb but they are forever on our hearts live and learn young one. 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    If you have your own place, how does your dad know when you go out in the evening? 

    Is it possible that his own father was this way when he was around the age you are now? In a quiet period take him back to when he was then and how he felt when treated unkindly by his parents. Do this sincerely with genuine interest - probably best not during an argument. That said, it might perhaps be effective when emotions are high. It is usually better to ask questions than to say things.Whether he sleeps or not when you're out is his problem, not yours! Did he bring you up to be your own person or tied to Daddy's apron strings? Put your phone on silent - or turn it off even.

    Good Luck!  

  • 4 weeks ago

    Your father the doctor needs to see a doctor who is a therapist for help in cutting the shop apron strings. Meanwhile, call him at agreed upon scheduled times to updste each other. For me and my dad, it was Sunday nights. That lasted from when I was in my 20's until the day he died at 94. Precious hours.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    maybe you should move far away so he wont want to make long distance calls

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Time for you to stop worrying about him and be a adult who is on his own. If he is a doctor he should be able to understand that, Id ignore any contact from him when he is being a controlling fool. In time he will sleep, you worry about him like a old wife.  when you are out text him at 10 and tell him you are home, and stay out until you want to. You need to stop telling him about all your plans for parties, you are a adult.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Ask him, not us. 

  • Barry
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    We all tend to regard our adult offspring as children. However your dad's attitude borders on an obsession. You are doing nothing to counter it either as you readily submit to his blackmail of sleep deprivation. So it's up to you. You either tell him that as you are an adult you will make your own decisions or you put up with it for the rest of your dad's life. Turn your phone off too until he comes to his senses.

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