Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

I believe my ex wife is more concerned with me finding someone else than she is about me leaving her. Why is she all of a sudden so diff?

I’m about to divorce her because this is the second time she’s had an affair. Even though I don’t believe she’s a good spouse I’ve always loved our friendship so I’m going to continue with being friends with her. It’s been two months since I found out about the affair and at first I was numb then I started to feel intense pain and then anger. I know talking to her everyday isn’t going to help mend the wounds but I still want to be her friend. So we text daily and we text throughout the day. She said that I’m a handsome man and that she supports me and that she admires me. She says I gave her the best sex in the world. She said she’s not telling her family we are getting divorced until she is ready and she doesn’t want me telling her family. It’s weird because she never wanted to talk on the phone when we were married and now all of a sudden she calls me 2-3 times a day to have an hour long conversation. And she actually acts interested in my hobbies. She said she’s got connections for me with my hobbies to make it a full career. She still has all our pictures up on Facebook and said she’s never deleting them. And she told me “ you’re mad now but we will be together in the future. Can’t fight fate. And you’re my soulmate. I made a mistake but learned from it. We always work through anything. You’ll come around.”


When I didn’t text her for 30 minutes she blew up my phone and asking me if I had another women in the room. I told her it’s only been 30 minutes and I was working out.. helps relieve stress..

7 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    Your ex is very clearly not accepting that she’s your ex. Seems to me like she still has hope that you’re coming back 

  • 2 months ago

    There is a reason for the biblical "turn the other cheek" because if you are better off with her than without her you cannot win by divorcing her. No one says that having an affair is good but you can get over it.,  Bitterness and hatred are already eating you up and you haven't even started the divorce.

  • MissA
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You don't need anybody's permission to break up with them.  Getting together is mutual, getting apart... while it's certainly nice, doesn't have to be. 

    Although this repetitive  question seems VERY similar in writing style to someone who's seemingly posting the woman's POV on the subject.

  • 2 months ago

    Because you put up with it the first time she had an affair so she expects you will put up with it this time too. Hopefully you don't fall for the act this time

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    She seems very controlling.  RUN while you have a chance.

  • 2 months ago

    She seems to think this is a temporary tiff. After all, you didn't leave her over her last affair. And you want her to be your close friend. And you text throughout the day daily. She seems to have reason to think this a temporary tiff. It you don't want her to have that notion, it would appear that your behaviors would need adjusting. 

  • 2 months ago

    Have you ever addressed the reasons for your wife's infidelity? I don't condone cheating, but there are always reasons. 

    Maybe she wants you back.

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