have i lost this woman's interest because of my FAILURE to communicate with her?

i'm a man aged 42, i have a difficult personality disorder and low self confidence which makes communicating with women hard, i'm also shy and afraid of rejection.....i'm not a virgin, i have had quite a lot of sex with girls in my life, but never had any relationships...and i have no friendships or support network and are going it alone in life apart from the support of my elderly parents, who live far away...

i live alone in a little flat, and there's this woman on my facebook friends list who i added over a year ago, i forget how it happened whether she sent me a friends request or i sent her a request and she accepted it.......but she showed interest in me initially,  liking my posts often.....so i tried to private message her and start communicating with her, but because of my shyness, fear of rejection and low self worth, ive not been good at communicating with her....ive left it weeks and sometimes two months to reply to her messages.....i liked her a lot but don't know how to talk to her or what to say??.........she is 54 years old and a redhead.......now ive left it about a month again since i last replied to her, my last message to her was an apology to her about me taking time to reply, i used the excuse that i had been unwell.....she replied to that, but ive left it long time to reply again?

could she have lost interest in me? how can i get her interest again? heck, how can i even maintain private messaging her?  because i'm FAILING at that.

3 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    Firstly, you should be grateful in a sense that you are single at 42 and did not get trapped into having kids at a young age or ended up being a financial provider to a woman(marriage). So let's celebrate that. Secondly, men peak around age 38 in terms of sexual market value, so you're not too far off and your choosing of women will be a much larger pool than that of a 20 year old guy. As for your confidence, you need to find something in life that makes you confident. Get in shape, take care of your skin, eat healthy, etc. Just think to yourself that you are the prize, not her, even if you don't feel that way. Ask yourself "What does this woman do to enhance my life aside from sex?" and with that line of thinking you'll start finding reasons to get rid of women instead of this scarcity mindset that they will 'get away' if you don't do everything right (which is actually the opposite, they will leave if you do everything right).


    I recommend all young men to read this book, but since you are 42 you will probably be able to accept it better than most young men and will actually read it (Most young guys have been conditioned all their lives to a certain way of thinking and will not accept that they can no longer be nice guys to women). It will change your dating life forever. It will only take a couple days to read, but I promise you by the end of it you will have wished you read this 20+ years ago.

  • 4 weeks ago

    see a psychologist

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    I lost the love of a male because of being shy too. 

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