Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 4 weeks ago

How do you stop a cycle of abuse?

So basically i work with a guy whos abusive sexually physically mentally emotionally. 

When hes happy he comes into work and flirts with me a lot and gives me lots of attentionAnd when hes mad or some other weird mood he just starts fights with me pushung my buttons and wants to argue or fight or something like that

He also always criticizes me and talks to me like he was my dad and i was 10 years old.

This is a minimum wage easy job. It doesnt require critiques like that especially if i didnt ask. Hes not even my boss and even if he was that wouldnt be appropriate I feel because he doesnt uplift or anything. He says im awkward and i annoy him.

At first he was nice btw. Now when i call him an assshole for being mean he says Thanks im glad to be an assshole. I dont see the point in that but ok.

And as for HR, please dont just say go to them and then run off. Because thats not realistic. I am in need of money and its hard to get a job. I cant jeapordize this job which is very good for me. And he is very popular and outgoing and friendly and everyone loves him. I am very quiet and a lot of people just dont like me and i think part of it is that a lot of women like who are bosses are jealous of me or think this is the Mean Girls movie where they assume cause im very attractive that im their enemy. And no i dont dress sexy. Guys tell me all the time im attractive and i dont even try so dont say its my fault. I dress modest. Anyway thanks for any help and for reading

7 Answers

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    you might not have a choice but to go to your boss about it

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You know the score now. Basically he’s toxic. Always be calm and in control. Always keep your distance. Don’t warm up to him when he’s being nice. Ignore him when he’s being mean. Just be nothing but cool and professional around him however he is. Nothing more, nothing less. If he tells you what to do when he is not supposed to - you stop - and let him know you don’t take orders from him. You don’t do what he says.   

     If he steps out of line with you on the job - you report it. You go to your supervisor. You do not have to like everyone you work with. You just have to learn to cooperate and get the job done. 

  • 4 weeks ago

    Sorry to tell you this, but HR is the way to go.  Not sure why you'd want to run off afterwards, though?  There are laws protecting you and everyone else from any kind of harassment in a workplace, and laws that protect you and everyone else from someone retaliating for anyone reporting said harassment.  Please go talk to HR.  You don't deserve to be treated like that, no matter how much money you're being paid to do your job.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    I don't buy this at all. You're tolerating physical and sexual abuse and can't go to HR and run off, whatever that means. What he's doing is a criminal--it's a crime--illegal, punishable by law. 

    And you're oh so pretty and you don't even try and other women are jealous of you. Women on here who claim they're attractive are males living in a basement.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    How do you stop a cycle of abuse?....

     Take the back tire off it.

  • 4 weeks ago

    What is your HR policy states on this?

  • Liz
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    If you don't report what he's doing to you to HR, you aren't being realistic. And responding in kind to his abuse isn't practical, either. No job is so important that you have to be abused everyday.

    (Proverbs 22:3) "The shrewd one sees the danger and conceals himself, But the inexperienced keep right on going and suffer the consequences."

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