Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

My husband is not good at trying to please me. I feel nothing from him.?

Yes, we waited till marriage to go ahead and do the dirty. We are both Christians but hes more on the religious side. I'm less religious and I was ok with having sex before marriage. He wasn't so I waited. Hes a very nice guy and I do love and care about him. But we are facing a problem in this marriage. Hes overweight, like obese. He probably weighs 320lbs and hes 6'1. When we get intimate, he has a very hard time putting it in. He cant seem to put it in and I cant feel anything. Its been a year and we only get intimate twice a month because I honestly dont even want to be intimate anymore. I tried talking to him but all he keeps saying is, as long as it can get me pregnant, it's good to go. He doesn't seem to care how I'm feeling. His thing is just small and he has a hard time trying to get it in due to his weight. I'm personally fed up with it. I feel like hes just another roommate I'm living with. I love him but I sometimes question it because I deserve to be happy. He never wants to solve the issue, he never wants to talk about it either. I kept trying but nothing is working. He doesn't care if I'm sexually satisfied and I'm tired. I dont know what to do. I do want a divorce but I dont want to break his heart.

12 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 month ago

    buy bananas weekly!

  • 1 month ago

    seek marriage counseling.

  • 1 month ago

    something of a mess you are in

    i am frustrated with my sexual satisfaction but have stayed married to the same woman many years.

    relationship is communication, and communication is more than just words.

    i am not suggesting you find someone more full filling on the side, but i did for a while and it helped me. i do truly wish you success in finding some level of happiness.

    tmm

  • Lili
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    First of all, penis size is not actually germane to women's sexual pleasure. There's nothing inside the vagina that can cause a woman to have an orgasm, and in fact, the vagina has relatively few nerve endings.

    The clitoris, however, has thousands, and the clitoris is the source of the female orgasm.  Since it doesn't normally get enough stimulation from intercourse for orgasm, most women come via manual or oral stimulation from their partners.

    And that your husband can certainly provide, though he'll need to learn how to do it well and engage in a lot of practice.

    If you love him and want to stay with him, you will work with him on that. Even if you want to leave, it might help to see a couples counselor who has a lot of experience with marital sexual problems. Even a Christian couples counselor will have dealt with many sexual issues. They are common among the religious.

    As for his weight, he should do something about that for the sake of his health.  He should probably see a therapist on his own.

    Of course, you could just be a troll. There are several things about this post that do not ring true.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This is why it’s better to have sex before you get married. You don’t wanna marry a guy if you aren’t sexually compatible. You can try having sex with you on top, as you’ll be in control and you should have an easier time with his weight. But the fact that he doesn’t try means he doesn’t care. Most guys with small dîcks learn better skills with their mouths but it sounds like your husband won’t put in the effort. Sex is important in a marriage, and it’s definitely not just about making babies. If he won’t try to please you, buy a battery powered replacement for him. Maybe once you lose interest in having sex with him, he might put in more effort. Tell him that you just don’t feel like having sex because he’s not interested in making you happy. You guys really need marriage counseling. And I suggest you see an actual marriage counselor instead of the church. I doubt a priest will be able to give him advice on how to make sex more fun for you. If he doesn’t try harder, don’t even consider having his kids. If he’s too lazy for good sex, he’s definitely too lazy to be a good father. If he doesn’t start paying more attention to your needs, you may want to find a new husband. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Once again, religion has shown its ugly side. When will people stop believing in fairy tales?

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Please post picture of yourself for prospective boyfriends.

  • 1 month ago

    Break his heart? It seems like he is rather breaking your spirit. If he can't be bothered to do what it takes, you certainly need to think very hard about having children. 

    Perhaps he has given up on himself as well as you.Good Luck!

  • Marty
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    If he is refusing to listen to you then I'm afraid you're going to have to think about leaving him. If you keep going like you are you're going to start building some animosity, and that will lead to arguments. Don't have an affair as that will only make matters worse. You should be with a man who can make you happy and one who'll listen and care about what you're feeling. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Get some kind of relationship advisor from a church. those exist right? they help with people having troubles with their marriage I think.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.