Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 month ago

I’m over-emphatic and worry too much about others, even strangers. People often take advantage of my kindness. Am I mentally ill?

I don’t feel like this world is for me. I’ve been struggling with this issue since I was young but I think it’s gone out of hand now that I’m an independent 19 year old. I have an obsession with making EVERYONE feel happy and satisfied, at the expense of myself. I’m in debt and have very bad financial responsibility because I have a tendency to buy things and offers out of empathy. Sometimes I lie to others about not having assignments or things to do when others ask me for help and it often doesn’t end up well. I NEVER think about myself first. But whenever I do I get intrusive thoughts about how I make others feel as a result of my selfishness and how I could’ve been better. Everyone close to me never asks me for anything much because they know I’m a lying selfless idiot who’s willing to throw their whole life under the bus just to please others, and it REALLY gets to me. I’ve also had instances where people have taken advantage of me and I can’t help but think “at least I did the ‘right’ thing” and doing what they wanted so I don’t lose sleep at night. I know this is not normal, but I can’t resist it. It’s crippling my life and I feel like I can’t be helped.

2 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    Many people feel the same way.

    You are just over empathic.

  • Liz
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    I can’t say if you are mentally ill as I am not a doctor. I was very similar to you and the thing that helped me was therapy. I needed to learn about boundaries and how to set and enforce them and that I couldn’t be helpful to others if I sacrificed myself to do so. 

    It can get better with some hard work and therapy can be very helpful to get there. 

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.