Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

What are some signs your parents want you to move out?

I'm 21 (soon to be 22) and working at a gas station. My mom keeps saying she wished I would have gone to college because I'd be out making good money now. She keeps dropping hints that I should get married too. (I'm not necessarily planning on living at home forever, but a lot of times I feel she's trying to rush things too fast on me.)

I explained to her that I'm not making a ton of money because I'm in the beginning part of my life. (Most of my friends are still living with roommates.) However, she and my dad keep pressuring me to apply for higher paying jobs and I feel like I'm doing it just to please them. They keep saying someone my age should be making at least $15/hour. 

I brought up the idea of moving out/getting an apartment with roommates to my mom before, but she refuses to have this conversation with me and at the same time claims it's fine for me to still be at home. What does this mean?

Update:

Is it bad to not have your whole life mapped out at 22?

Update 2:

I'm a girl.

Update 3:

I'm a girl.

8 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Make goals for your future. Then take the steps necessary to meet those goals.

    You are young and have tons of energy. You could be working full-time and going to community college full-time. You absolutely will find that adult school is MUCH better than teenager school. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    probably if she asks you to move out

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    They are nuts...I think if you went to school, they would lay off you. Maybe they are doing this to push you back to school. If not college try a trade school, a plumber, makes tons of money, maybe you have some interest in a trade. Why work for crap, when you can work and make better money...give it some thought. It would make your future much better, you cannot live on working at a gas station.

  • edward
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I moved into my own house when i was 18, lived with my sister all through university while working 2 part time jobs.  I mean you have parents who seem to be on the right track here. 

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  • A.J.
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Although society and systems have the cards stacked against you, there is a problem in your generation of lack of planning and poor goal focus. I can rattle off so much right off the top of my head. 

    52% of those under 30 are now living with parents.

    The public education system is terrible and higher education expensive.

    Manufacturing is controlled by global corporations and moved out to lower wage economies. They own the politicians.

    The media and technology made people lazy and massive inputs divert you with 100 TV channels and video games.

    The Federal minimum wage is 40% below January 1980 with cost of housing doubled. The economy gains have gone to the top 10%.

    This is only part of it, but paints a bleak picture.

    Meanwhile though, Asians are dominating the magnet schools and have mostly stable households. Starting with nothing, they are moving up fast. They have the same ethnic traits that Jewish ethnic had to move up the ladder. It's about focus and hard work and devotion to succeed.

    At this point, with over 85% with a high school diploma, it is practically worthless. If you went through life with no skills developed you have no future and unskilled jobs are disappearing to automation and robotics.

    It is not about blaming the 9% illegal residents. They work hard typically.

    At this point, assess yourself and your true outlook. You need more skills than you have. This is one job/career list:

    https://www.bls.gov/ooh/a-z-index.htm

    It shows what they pay and job demands and how to become one.

    What happened to the last three to four years of your life?

    You need to find a path and speak with parent(s) to get yourself capable.

    Yes, I was in a more open path life, high school honor student, Engineering college, MBA while working full time, devoting 60 hours a week to getting ahead. Your generation is aimed at a work-life balance but not working.

    And in working is aimed at very short term goals.

    This is not about blame. The system cheated you. That doesn't mean throw your life away. You lost four years. It isn't a lifetime. Get up, wake up, and make a path. Sharing an apartment is not a final answer. It solves next to nothing. If working at a gas station, are you a trained mechanic taking certification classes? Why not?

    The year is 2020. Gender is not supposed to be relevant.

    Not whole life - How about 5 years clear and 10 years with goals?

  • 1 month ago

    It would not have been a "hint" with me.  But fortunately my kid did go off to college, never came back except to visit, and he makes big bucks now.  So I did not have to boot him out.  

    But I sure would have done that to you.  You should have gone out their door to act and live like an adult as soon as you got that job at the gas station.  And you do know how girls feel about a "mommy's boy" who's still living with his mom don't you?  Lots of luck in even finding a girl who finds that attractive.

  • Teal
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I don't think they are hinting that you should move out. They are just worried about your future and don't want you to stagnate in a dead end job. They aren't entirely wrong, it's hard to break out of low-wage work when you have no credentials or other experience. You should start doing some research and think about what to do next. You don't have to go to college, there are trades or certificate programs that could get you in to a better job. Just knowing you have a goal will probably keep your parents off your back for a while.

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Maybe she's OK with you staying but wants you to 

    (1) be pursuing a better future for yourself, not working an entry level year after year, and

    (2) contribute more $$$ toward household expenses. 

    Please consider vocational training. Your parents might even float you a loan to help with tuition. Or perhaps you can qualify for an entry level job at a supermarket, a job with paid time off and other benefits. Maybe that's not what you want to do for the rest of your life, but if you're making more money then you have more freedom to get into some kind of work that you you like better.  

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