Life / Relationship Advice?

I’m a 19 year old lesbian. I have been with my fiancé for 5 years who is a few years older at 25 years old. Last Summer, she proposed to me when I was 18. I said yes! I absolutely love her and have imagined a future with her since we started dating. We decided to wait until 2021 to get married for financial reasons and so I can be 21. 

 I don’t know what’s happening to me mentally though. The past month or so, all I can think about is being alone. I’ve basically been been in relationships constantly since my first girlfriend when I was 12. I just feel like I don’t even know who I am without a significant other... I want to go through my early 20s single and just living life, spending time with friends, going to parties, etc. But we are about to get married, start a family soon, I work and go to school to pay our bills. She dropped out of college last year but works about 40 hours a week as well. I want her... just now now... I don’t know what to do about this. She has noticed and has been crying herself to sleep and I’m just so stuck in my head and lost that I don’t even know what to do. She asked me tonight “Are you falling out of love with me?” And I just responded “I don’t know what’s happening to me” so she cried and I asked what was wrong and she said “I’m preparing to be hurt by you.” 

She is all I want in life, but I want to date other people, meet friends, go on trips alone, live alone for the first time in my life in a little one bedroom apartment... i’m so lost.

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Tell her straight up, you feel you are not ready for marriage, you need to explore yourself. Then leave and find yourself.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Be a good Christian and like males. It is a sin.

  • 1 month ago

    So you started dating her when she was 20, and you were 14. Correct?

  • 1 month ago

    Of course you're lost, your fiance' should have known better than to start a relationship with a child, much less get engaged to one who has experienced literally nothing. It's her own fault she is going to end up getting hurt. Your 14 year old mind is vastly different from your 16 year old mind which will be vastly different from your 21 year old mind. You should take the time to explore who you are, and experience things. How can you know who you want to be with, when you don't even know yourself?  End the engagement and go out and figure yourself out, take all the time you need. If your fiance' and you were somehow meant to be, things will still work out between you, but you need to understand you were actually your fiance's victim, even if a willing one. You said she is all you want in lif then listed several other things you also wanted in life, so she is not all you want in life. She is all you know in life and you are not satisfied with that. And honestly that's a good thing considering how young you were wheen you two got together. She was 20 and an adult, you were 14/15 and below the age of consent, this relationship should not be built from that foundation. You might build a life with her, but it need to be after you discover yourself, and discover she is the person you want to be with.

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  • 1 month ago

    What happened is you are 19 years old and yet to experience life, and it dawned on you that you are about to tie yourself down at a young age when you have not experience the youth of your days or seen what's out there to explore. Now you feel the need to be independent before you make such a huge decision to officially be a married woman with responsibilities. You should tell her how you feel because at the end of the day if you decide to put aside this nagging feeling that you are giving up a part of yourself just to marry now, you will just end up making both of you unhappy in the long run. 

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