Lost courage for searching for the right therapist?
It took me a lot of courage to admit the need for help and actually walk into therapists offices
My first therapist was a disaster. She was good at what she does, she understood my culture and why I was feeling overwhelmed. But she was egotistical and shamed for crying as a defensive mechanism when I questioned what she said to me. I knew right then that she wasn’t a good therapist. Even though she was really good but I couldn’t tolerate disrespect.
My second therapist I was too afraid to cry in front of him. My first therapist really caused me to be afraid to be vulnerable which is something I already struggle with in real life I thought therapy is a safe place. I was too worried and did not cry which prevented me from talking about what really bothered me. On top of that he cannot see things from my perspective like he gets this blank stare like I am talking about a different planet. He pushes me to focus on the future while I really need to talk about the past the things i have been bottling for years. I mean he was good at telling me how to start to establish boundaries with others in my life but thats about it. I still struggle with PTSD getting nightmares and flashbacks and I cannot discuss them with him. My life also had major transformations and many connections became toxic and I need help but I gave up on this therapist.
Now I don’t know if its even worth it to keep trying to look for another one. I mean i am too depressed and gave up.
Judy and charlie you really don’t know what you are talking about. Crying is part of therapy it reales negative emotions. Also yes I do want a therapist that serves me sympathy if they cannot then they are in the wrong practice. Lastly PTSD patients need to talk about the past so they can rewire their brain into a different thinking. If they don’t talk about the past and heal it they will spend the rest of their lives getting triggered. You are wrong
- Judy and CharlieLv 71 month ago
I have read your question with a lot of interest.
You have told me two important things here:
1) You need to cry during your sessions with your therapist or you feel it isn't working.
2) You need to re-live the past and hang on to your problems instead of working hard to learn better coping skills and better life skills.
Teaching you these skills that you have lacked in life is the job of every therapist and so, it will be very hard for you to find one that only serves you tea and sympathy instead of demanding that you roll up your sleeves and start to learn and work at it.