Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

DID I CHEAT ON HIM??? (ANSWER BACK)?

I am completely against cheating. When I love some, I devote myself to them completely. If you want to be with someone else, then let the other person go. My ex has made this whole experience traumatizing for me. He says I cheated on him. Did I? So for months, I was having doubts about my then boyfriend. I never felt treated right. We were doing long distance and we grew apart. I met someone who lives in the same building as me who asked if I wanted to hang out. I said sure, and I told him on the very first day itself 'I have a boyfriend' and I always made it clear that I was seeing someone. He never tried anything with me. Later down the line, I made the decision to end things with my bf because it felt like no matter how much I tried, he didn't care enough. I told myself, I owe him the respect of a 2yr relationship to at least end things with him in person, as we were doing long distance. I couldn't end things with him over the phone. Travelling to him wasn't easy, but I finally booked a flight to see him and end things. In my head, we were already over. After I made the clear decision to end things with him (and we had already stopped communicating regularly at this point), I went on a couple dates with the guy I met in my building. IS this cheating??? My ex makes me feel really bad about it and now I believe I am a bad person. It's really eating me up. When we were together, I loved him more than anything.

9 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    You have mentally and officially broken up with him and done the right thing by meeting up and ending things, at the time you knew what you were doing was okay especially as you told him you had a bf even with how much you loved him and respected him. You’re letting this eat you up now because of his portrayal of the situation and what happened, he will never understand what was in your head at the time and he won’t know at the time it wasn’t malicious. You are doubting your faithfulness now because of how HE has reacted. Live by your own standards not his, give yourself a break girl I’m glad you’re out of it! 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Put yourself in his shoes. You were hanging out with another man and as soon as you broke things off with your long distance guy, you started dating the guy you were hanging out with. Which is fine if that’s how you roll, but can you blame him for thinking that? Hopefully this relationship will be healthier and better for you. 

  • 1 month ago

    If you were still in a relationship with your ex and you were seeing your neighbor, then yes you did cheat on him.

  • g
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You started seeing someone before breaking up with current bf = cheating. Not sure why you're debating this with your ex. It's done.

    Note: if your bf had done same, hanging out with another girl until "later on down the line," would you have considered it cheating. I think yes.

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  • 1 month ago

    I suggest you quit talking with your ex. What you are doing with your life is none of his business. And, despite your instinctual devotion, he wasn't a good boyfriend for you and is clearly a nightmare of an ex. Just cut him OFF. Love YOURSELF more than anything. End this. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You are cheating on someone if you are in a relationship, and you see someone else during this time. At the time you went out with your neighbor, you were still in a relationship with your ex- boyfriend.  So yes, you were cheating on him. 

  • 1 month ago

    What does "date" mean. It can mean nothing or everything. 

    It's a bit in a gray zone, but really irrelevant. You were in your head done with him so it was not cheating from your part. He was in his head not done with you so he regards it as cheating. You both have a point, but since you not going on dates with the other guy would not have affected the outcome in the slightest, I don't see why you needed to hang around moping until you managed to offically break up with the ex. If you stopped communicating much he must have known that things were not going well, he could also have made an effort and see you and try to mend things. But he didn't. But of course he is bitter. Trying to make you feel bad is trying to keep exerting his influence on you. Which means hanging onto you and provoking emotion in you. If you are really done with him, what does it matter what he thinks? Don't let him pull you back. He didn't fight for you, don't you go and fight his battles for him. 

    I wouldn't get hung up on it. It sounds the breakup will make you happier long term.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    maybe he is hurting. i think you might have broken his heart... please dont be so harsh. break ups are really really devestating. i still havent healed. i dont want to lose anyone. It hurts so badly. Especially when you dont have a backup plan. U dont know but u fall in love.Its happens. Deep true love.

  • Iambi
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Are you married to him? Did you break up with him? It is not cheating!

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