Boyfriend didn’t come home after a night out with his friends. Didn’t even give me a heads up. Feeling very upset, what can I do?

We’ve been together for 3 years, and have a good relationship. We live together. We have some communication issues, but we’re working on it. He hasn’t done anything to break my trust. I just want to figure out if my feelings are misplaced here. He has been thinking of taking a job with this group of his childhood friends he has. They’re in the marijuana business, and have quite the income for their age...let’s just say I feel shady about it, and about them. I’m opposed to him working with these guys, but I won’t tell him what to do. I don’t know them well, I’ve only met them a few times. In my opinion I don’t trust them, for some reason I just don’t feel comfortable around them. I can’t say **** cuz they’re his friends from middle school, we are in our late 20s now. He told me he is going to go out to see them in LA to talk about a job. They freakin have a high rise penthouse in Downtown LA, it just feels sketchy to me, I don’t get how their making this money. He told me he would go out with them to talk about the job, and he hasn’t come home all night. The first time in our relationship he went out with them and stood out past 3am, I tried to act like it didn’t bother me. But this is new to me, he just didn’t come home. He didn’t even shoot me a text letting me know. I know he drinks heavily when he’s with them, and I hate it. I’m worried if he takes this job I will have more of these painful nights because he will be around them a lot more. Are my feelings misplaced?

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  • Strand
    Lv 7
    4 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you see a long term future with him, you need to tell him how you feel. The new job will affect you too, he needs to consider your feelings and needs. This isn't about control, it's a fundamental issue of compatibility. If you two don't want the same things, then your relationship has run its course. The fact that you don't feel comfortable asserting yourself at all is a pretty big red flag.

    They may be operating legally in your state, but since marijuana is still illegal federally it is a cash heavy business and a high risk target for crime. Lots of people have been robbed and killed selling legal weed. If these guys are already making money, then what they need is people to do the risky work for them. Your boyfriend won't be writing TPS reports and holding zoom meetings.

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Did you check to see if he is in jail yet? He will be if he gets  into this. Maybe its time to walk away from him and his bad friends and his bad decisions.

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Maybe he have sex with a man and felt guilty 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Heavy drinking and probable use of drugs is not very mature, is it? Nor, one might think, is even considering earning his money illegally and immorally - thus risking prison, etc. 

    Perhaps you need to discuss your priorities with him.

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