Why does my girlfriend take forever to answer my texts?
I have recently been having issues with my girlfriend when it comes to her texting habits. I met her online and we've been texting back and forth for almost 3 months. For the first 2 weeks, our relationship was going great, but after the 2 weeks, she started becoming depressed due to her difficult relationship with her parents. I always offered my sympathies to her and tried to let her know I was always there for her.
Unfortunately, she has been taking an obscene length of time to answer my texts. At her worst, she once took 2 days to respond to one of my messages. I am a little clingy, but I've never bombarded her with messages. I'm also not abusive, and I've never called her a single name. I'm as kind and patient as I can possibly be with her, but I get the impression I care more for her than she cares for me. I've tried talking to her about this multiple times, and she does admit to her mistakes, but even though she says she'll change, she never does, and sometimes she gets even worse.
I'm lucky just to get a few texts from her a day.There was a point in time where I separated myself from her for about a month, and now I'm trying to reconnect with her, but she hasn't changed. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to break up with her bc she is the only girl who has ever told me she loves me, and I don't think I'll find anyone else any time soon. I just don't know why she does what she does. I'm so depressed and frustrated by it. I need help.
A lot of the answers here are very insensitive and rude. I can't believe some of you people.
I don't think people have the whole story here. There is significantly more to it than I'm saying. I'm not able to write it all here. I have never met this girl, as she lives in a different state from me. She also professed her love to me (not me to her). She was the one making the first move. She also recently told me she still loves me, but she just doesn't show it. She doesn't treat me like a gf should treat a bf. I feel neglected and disrespected. I'm not pathetic or weak for wanting that.
- James W.Lv 71 month agoFavorite Answer
Some people aren't really into texting. It’s hard to meet and really get to know a strong woman online. It's just too easy for someone to pretend that they're someone they're not. Use dating to find out what she's really like. Pay special attention to how she reacts when she doesn't get his way or something goes wrong.
Unfortunately, it sounds like she is possibly is confusing having the feeling of being "in love" and true love. True love takes way more than three months to develop. You have to have had many opportunities to observe their behavior in all types of situations in order to develop true love for someone.
Here's some information about love from the books True Love Lasts, Straight Talk About Teen Dating, and Straight Talk About Dating:
“Unfortunately, lots of people don’t know what true love is and that’s a big reason why a large number of marriage relationships are unhappy. Many people think that true love is just a feeling. You know, the wonderful head spinning feeling of being “in love.”
If true love is just a feeling, feelings come and go. But true love doesn't come and go. True love is patient and kind. It isn’t jealous, rude, selfish, controlling, or easily angered. It forgives. It’s supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.
Unlike the feeling of being “in love” which is relatively easy to get especially during dating, true love usually develops slowly over a significant period of time (often years). In order to develop true love for someone you really have to know them well – which means that you have had a chance to observe their behavior in all types of situations (pay special attention to how they react when things go wrong or they don’t get their way). True love is so much more than just the feeling of being “in love” - it’s supposed to be a mutual lifelong commitment. When you say that you love your significant other, you’re saying that you’re committed to loving them for the rest of your life - for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death do you part. True love lasts - it almost never fails.
Think of it this way, if a person has true love for another person, it’s like the sun - it’s always there no matter what (remember that even at night, the sun is still there, it’s just shining on the other side of the earth - and when it’s cloudy outside the sun is also still there, it’s just behind the clouds).
On the other hand, the feeling of being “in love” is like sunshine - even though we’d like it to be sunny every day, the truth is that the amount of sunshine changes regularly. Some days it’s nice and sunny and the feeling of being “in love” is strong, on others it’s partly cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is there but it’s not very strong, and on other days it’s cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is barely there at all. I’m hoping that this explanation is helping you to see that it’s possible for a person to have true love for another person and not have a strong intense feeling of being “in love” with that person at a particular moment. (If you talk with married couples, I think they’ll tell you that the strength of their feelings of being “in love” changes regularly.)
So when you hear someone say, “I don't love him or her anymore” - take it for what it usually is. It’s usually someone saying that they’ve lost the feeling of being “in love”, that they don’t know how or they’re not willing to make the effort required to get the feeling back, and that they probably never had true love for their significant other to begin with because true love almost never fails.
Many times I’ve heard young women say, “my boyfriend loves me.” Unfortunately, most of these women have been fooled. How could their boyfriend possibly have true love for them if their boyfriend doesn’t even know what true love is? Sadly many people marry when one or both people don't have true love for the other - and the result is usually divorce because it's hard to keep a marriage together when it's based only on the feeling of being "in love."
My first suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already). A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), puts forth their best effort, and displays self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money).
It’s going to be tough, but my second suggestion is that you break up with this girl in a kind way unless she’s a strong person with whom you feel you could one day develop mutual true love with, and eventually look for this type of girl (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of woman is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.
(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!Source(s): True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults, Straight Talk About Teen Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 13-19, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
- 1 month ago
Your an idiot. If you go into a long distance relationship or a relationship in general both parties needs must be met. I can guarantee you you will go nowhere with this girl and you are just a side thing. If she needs you (A "Boyfriend figure") she can fall on you and when she doesn't need you she ignores you. Just get out, you'll be happier.
- Anonymous1 month ago
my toe nails are curling into my toes every second, havent cut them in a year
- WLv 41 month ago
Give it up. She's not interested.
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- 1 month ago
Three months is too soon to know anything. She may hate texting. Ask her in person.
- 1 month ago
Are you wondering if she's cheating on you, or if she simply doesn't care about you? It doesn't matter. If you can't live with it she'll either change or you'll leave. If that's just the way she is, cut to the chase and end it.
- Alan HLv 71 month ago
Not everyone lives permanently by the phone!
Accept her as she is or let her find someone who will
- 1 month ago
She is going through too much in her life. She may be feel unmotivated, or like myself in my younger days, she maybe losing concept of time and actually forget to text back. If you want to be in a relationship with her, you need to understand her.
Text her only to ask what time you can call her, then talk on the phone at that time and repeat the next day.
- Anonymous1 month ago
met her online... only texting for 3 months... she's not your girlfriend! hello...
have you ever met her? she's taking forever to answer your texts because she's not too interested. i mean, if i were interested in someone i'd make sure to answer right away and try to keep the convo going. not take forever! something just isn't right. we're not being rude or insensitive. we are being realistic! like seriously, stop trying dude.... she's not interested. give up.
- SodaLv 41 month ago
Have y’all ever met in person? How old are you?? If you are smothering her now, it might only be worse once you’ve met in person.
I would suggest giving her space.
It sounds like you have some personal issues with yourself that you may need counseling for.
- Anonymous1 month ago
maybe her phone is dead. or charger is broken. maybe waiting to get another one?