I dislike my soon to be sister in law (32/F), How do i cope?
Background:My girlfriend and i are getting to the point where marriage is on the horizon. Im excited but i cant stand her sister. Sister is 32, GF is 27.Reasons I dont like her:Some of the reasons i cant stand her sister is because she's always blaming her parents for her life not turning out great but in the same token she will gladly take a hand out from her parents. Also she has a terrible spoiled attitude with everyone.Examples:For example She wanted to go to college, her parents sent her to a private University all expenses paid AND she dropped out after one year, Her parents paid for her 80K wedding. She needed a car her parents bought her a luxury suv. She needed a career her parents setup a business for her to take over. She needed a place to live after her and her husband couldn't afford their apartment her parents allowed them to move back into mommy and daddy's house. I also believe that they will end up giving the house to her although this hasn't happened yet.Why it bothers me:The reason this bothers me is because despite the fact that she lacks the basics needs to be an adult (Car, Career, House) and the simple fact that her and her husband don't make much money around 100k as a couple she still has a new Audi,luxury bags, the best appliances, furniture, clothing.She literally moved back home to save money and just bought workout equipment for $2k Meanwhile my girlfriend and I salary is more than double that and have none of these and do everything on our own.
- LizBLv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
There is a chapter in the classic The Millionaire Next Door about this, they term in "economic outpatient care." Yes, your future SIL has been spoiled in her life and continues to be enabled to make bad choices... but that debt will come due eventually, and by being self-reliant you and your future wife will largely escape it.
I say let the sister and her parents make their own bed, and expect that as the parents age and become less and less able to care for themselves, that it will be up to her to take care of them. That's the price of all this support they're offering. Meanwhile, you and your wife will be far too busy living your own lives, and not suffering financially because you were responsible with your money. You're young now and it may not feel that way, but in 10-15 years you'll be much better off, while the sister's problems will only grow. Just make sure your gf is capable of saying "no" to both her sister and parents, and making boundaries incredibly clear.
- JimLv 51 month ago
Limit your interaction with this sister. You are marrying her sister, not her. It's easier than you think. You don't have to be mean to her, just ignore her.
- FireplaceLv 62 months ago
None of what goes on with your GF's sister and their parents is any of your business.
If you do not know how to cope with your feelings then seek counselling. You will not get it from all the bored 13 and 14 year olds on Yahoo Answers.
- PearlLv 72 months ago
just stay away from her as much as possible
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- TjLv 72 months ago
Do you know that people who have everything in the world, to impress others are about a paycheck away from Bankruptcy? They do not own anything, the bank does. Best is to stay away from toxic people, have nothing to do with them.
- TealLv 72 months ago
There is nothing you need to cope with. Her sister's life and her parent's financial choices are none of your concern. You don't need to like her, you just need to tolerate her and do the minimum to be polite. She isn't going to be a significant part of your life and you should hardly think of her at all. Resenting her accomplishes nothing, it's a choice you are making and a waste of your energy. Choose to let it go and focus on your own future.
- 2 months ago
I hate my girlfriends sister, but I just try to live my life and not put myself around her. Her sisters have also stolen from me though so I have good reason. My girlfriend is not like them at all so I just try to focus on our relationship and life together. I'm honest with my girlfriend too and she understands and respects my feelings. We've been together almost 5 years and we always work on our communication to help each other feel comfortable
- n2mamaLv 72 months ago
If you can’t get past this and just live your own life, then you really shouldn’t consider marrying your gf. Really, what her sister does or doesn’t do is not really your business and should not affect your life. If she wants to be a leech on her parents, that’s between her and her parents. It has nothing to do with you, and very little to do with your gf. It sounds like you are jealous that your girlfriend isn’t riding the same gravy train her sister is. Your gf is much better off by paying her own way and being an adult. But if you can’t get past the resentment and jealousy you seem to be suffering from, better to just sever ties and move on.