Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Mother in law pulls baby from me ?! ?

Ok i have a terrible on going problem with my mother in law ! She one thing rips my daughter off me when i least expect it and im ok with it if my daughter isnt crying . She took her the last time i went there and my daughter had tears down her face and so as natural i went to grab her back and the women pulls her out of my arms and says no sweaty and went away from me as my daughter cried for me in tears . She was litteraly bent over holding my daughter so she couldnt get down from her and she was kicking and crying and screaming and this lasted about ten minutes until my daughter got off me and came back to me and it made my mother in law mad and she went away . My daughter hardly knows her by their design . They rarley come to see her and we live 45 min away and its always on us to take her but i dred every visit with this women ! What do i do ? Im tired if her pulling her from me ! Doni just let her handle it and let my daughter cry bc we wont be back for a few weeks and its hard for me to take her from her bc she gets a grip to where i cant 😬. I almost dont want to go when he visits but my daughter cries all the time when we go there sooo i have to . Any advice please 😬she has done this since she was born . 

8 Answers

  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    That's horrible. Can you talk to your husband and see if he's willing to stop visiting her? I doubt she would respond positively to any convincing you could try with her.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    It is hard for me to do it “calmy” when i tried to take her from her and she pulls her from me and goes away from me . My daughter had to just get down herself bc she doesn't let me take her back and i try To . I havent went in a few weeks and i do not care . 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i wouldnt bring your daughter around her then

  • Imp
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Try this step away from her when she tries that.

    You: When she's not crying you can hold her. 

    M.I.L.: But you let me all those other times and I need to comfort her.

    You: I said no and I want to calm down in a minute or two not 10 minutes from now.

    M.I.L.: But my need to hold her is greater than her calming down (not what she would say just a translation).

    You: We've gone over this the matters closed.

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  • 2 months ago

    Your daughter's needs must come first, so unless your mother-in-law asks to have her, with your prerogative to refuse, you don't go there and she doesn't visit. At the moment she probably associates her with upset and anger (and tears!) so best to keep them apart until she is a little older. 

    So talk to your husband and agree together that it's daughter before grandmother, and she must agree to your conditions before visits. No need to be aggressive or confrontational. 

    Good Luck!

    "Seedy History" has an excellent answer!

  • 2 months ago

    She sees you rarely. Weeks go by between visits. Your daughter is clearly still very young. Here's a possibility.... as soon as you see your MIL, put your child in her arms. "Hi Mom, here you go" and put your baby in her arms. Your baby is picking up on your battles with this woman when no battle need be. And calmly sit down with them. No pulling or shoving or "rescuing" your baby from grandma's arms. Calmly sit down next to them. Calmly speak to your child. Calmly speak to your MIL. No grabbing, no acting like grandma is the enemy. Just calm it down. And then another few WEEKS go by and you do this again. You can get up and walk away and leave your child in grandma's arms. If the crying and the screaming and the craziness is overwhelming.. walk up laughing and tell MIL that you'll take this on now and be in charge. Calmly. There is no battle. The entire world is filled with new things and scary things and people and places your child is not familiar with. But needs to become familiar with. Learn to figure out what to protect her from and what to require she experience. Grandma is not a danger to her. 

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Be the parent and tell her firmly that you are taking your baby back. YOU are the authority when it comes to your own child, have confidence in that, and don't be afraid to show it. 

    Also if this continues to be an issue, have your husband talk to his mother. He needs to have your back here.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    you did the correct thing.

    she probally just wants to play with the baby but too much assertive.

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