Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdoption · 2 months ago

is it okay to not want biological children, and try to adopt with husband if i ever marry in Distant future?

any girl here that feeks the same way.

I just dont want to have to deal with the pain and stigma of being first time mother at 33+ and big age gap. would rather try to get a foster kid if possible. ( not now im saying by the time im ready to marry ...

this is only applicable to girls who can have babies if they wanted to. i mean traditionaly sorry. Or even some help. But the point is the girl s older. See for me it takes a toll on my emotions. I know others can handle but i cant. To me if i was sucessful by then and there was a ready made kid, who parents were alive, but wanted to be adopted by me. i would be really happy. BEcause that kids age would  have been the age my baby should have been by then..

I know its just a plausibility. But I still am not reproducing bascially.

thx :) :S

1 Answer

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  • LizB
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    No, there's nothing wrong with choosing adoption first. Plenty of families do this, and not always because they know they can't have biological children. Although adoption is often a solution to infertility or challenging medical issues (as in those that would make carrying a pregnancy unsafe), there are many families who opt for adoption as a first choice, or who decide to adopt in addition to having biological children. 

    However, you should be aware that adoption has its own challenges, particularly if you're adopting an older child who has been in the foster care system and/or a child with disabilities or other special needs. Any biological child can have health issues also, of course, but when older kids wind up in foster care and then are made available to adopt, the reasons for it are usually quite heartbreaking. Abuse and neglect are almost always part of the child's history, and even if the child is physically healthy, lingering mental health struggles from past trauma/abandonment are a very real and likely possibility. This is NOT to discourage you from thinking about foster-to-adopt someday. Only pointing out that if it's something you decide to do, you need to know what you're getting into, and have the resources and the mindset to take on whatever challenges may come your way.

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