Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Any other ideas/options for an unclean and unhealthy husband?

I've lovingly expressed my concern in ALL these areas - several times over the past year:

His testosterone is indeed low- doc gave him a med to help. He took it maybe 15 days. At most.

He's gained weight. Like 50 lbs. I try to kindly encourage exercise (of various types), i offer to exercisewith him, i cook healthier, etc. He doesn't change. 

He showers once weekly . Brushes teeth the same.

He often smells of fecal matter.

He wears dirty clothes.

He changes clothes rarely and wears stained up clothes (even in public)

His side of the bed is tinged brown. Pillowcase is brown (white pattern sheets). My side is white. I use my own blanket. 

Yes, I've tried to get him to seek a good therapist. He refuses. I can't force him to go. 

He tells me he's "aware" of all this. Says he's embarrassed. This conversation has happened many times. He never changes.

16 Answers

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  • car253
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    He needs some counseling.   Otherwise leave him alone.   Just keep him as clean as you can washing his clothes and bedding for him.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Yes, it’s called an ultimatum. You shouldn’t be forced to live either a person like this. 

  • 1 month ago

    This is at a crisis point. If your husband is stinky, and he has such terrible hygiene you're going to have to take drastic matters. Move out of the bedroom, or make HIM move out to the garage or the patio to sleep.  It's time you threaten to leave unless things change. He needs a wake-up call. 

    He has a mental problem--you know that. Enabling him by doing nothing to force better behavior or better hygiene is not going to help him. Seek out a qualified therapist YOURSELF--and ask what to do. His family or his doctor may have to get involved--or you may have to get local mental health authorities involved. But this is just ridiculous. Your 'loving concern' doesn't work. It isn't going to work in the future. You need professional help here. I hope you get it. 

  • Aaron
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    you need to ask your husband to pay attention to cleaniness ,otherwise next time ,he hold your hand ,you shout at him and get off me ,

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  • 1 month ago

    IMG, how can you face it/ you must have a lot of patience.  If you are financially able live seperately tell him / you will return on the days he bathes, brushes his teeth, combs his hair, and put on clean clothes. Bye, bye too dirt and smells!

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    He needs psychological help.  If he refuses to go, then its not much you can do.  Perhaps making arragements to move out till he decides to get help is the answer.

  • 1 month ago

    Low testosterone make all such problems. 

    Arrange him to increase testosterone,  like as take sunshine direct from sun, not thru glass, take healthy food etc.

    High testosterone will make him stronger and cleam.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If his physical and mental health have been addressed by Physicians and nothing changes it would appear that you need to decide whether to leave or to stay.

    You share a bed (your own blanket or not) with a man who smells of fecal matter?

  • .
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Those could be signs of depression. However, if he refuses to seek professional help, your options are limited. Seeing a therapist may help you in coping with the situation and perhaps even give you things to try to get him back on track. It also may help you decide if you want to continue on in the relationship if he won't get help or take steps to change. Clearly he's not very embarrassed or he'd have done something about it.

  • Mike
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    "He never changes"  Then I guess its time you change.

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