I want to have a girlfriend...?

Here is the thing why dating is hard for me: I have schizophrenia. I want to open up to people who will understand me and I want the other person to open up about themselves too. I do not want to waste time on small talk on a date. I want to ask the essential questions that are important to me on a virtual date because of the pandemic. The good thing is I am highly functioning, I rarely get medical treatment, and I always take my meds.

Also, if you are going to disrespect me, just know hurt people hurt others. And because of a negative attitude, you will cause someone's mental health to go downhill to the point of depression or committing suicide. I am just saying be careful with what you say on the internet and show unconditional respect to everybody. You never know how pain is going to alter someone's mental health. Also, let's not provoke people into doing something harsh. Be a good example for future generations. I've seen people disrespect each other all the time here, even if it's a cringing question, just answer it maturely.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
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    People with high-functioning schizophrenia can have girlfriends.

    (I don't have schizophrenia, so that's not how I know, but I've seen it and heard of it. Plus, you're very articulate and not saying unkind things. So I believe you will find one offline.)

    You may want to let women know about your condition prior to dating, like when you're in the "talking" stage of things. Not for a bad reason--it's to help you weed out the ones who aren't going to be kind and considerate.

    Tell them in a way that helps them understand there are certain things that you're more sensitive to or that hurt you/upset you, certain responses you might have. This could actually be done over time and not all at once. Like during one conversation, you could ask her about if she yells at people or if anger is an issue for her. (That would possibly trigger you if you date and then she doesn't have good healthy anger management.)

    Ask her opinions on important things. If she doesn't seem to have one but is willing to listen and learn, that might not be bad. If she doesn't seem to have one but is trying to change the subject on you to something you consider foolish and annoying, that might be a deal-breaker.

    I hope none of this is off. If any of it's unuseable to you, just ignore the unuseable things. Just saw this question and wanted to say that I've seen it's possible for people with schizophrenia to have girlfriends. Just like any type of relationship, be good to others and don't lower your standards of others being good to you. If they're not, that's not right. But if they don't know some things that they normally do aren't good for you specifically, then help them know in a kind way and see if they will respect it.

  • 1 month ago

    Hi... i hope you do well with dating.  Honestly, you don't have to tell someone everything about yourself the minute you're interested... like no sense saying "Hi my name is X and i have schizophrenia"...  you're not schizophrenia you're about a lot more than that and it's just something you're dealing with in life. It also sounds like you're doing very well, you're aware of your issues and you're taking good care of yourself.  

    It's a good idea to get to know what someone else is about and  to make discoveries about whether you want to get to know them better after a date or two - or even after a conversation or two.  Sometimes we connect with another person, sometimes not so much.  You have to understand that no one else is ever going to "understand you".... someone who really likes you will do everything they can to educate themselves and to listen to you in conversation and to find out more about you.  Truth be told, most people don't even understand themselves that well, so it's not really possible to understand someone else.  And a person who hasn't been through what you've gone through in life, is not going to be able to relate to your illness.  This is something to remember.  There are a lot of things about me that  most people wouldn't be able to relate to, as well.  It's ok though.  As far as people on the internet go, i don't take things others say and do personally. Their stuff isn't about me. Take care of you.  And i hope you meet someone special soon. 

  • 1 month ago

    . . . . before we start . . . . wanting a girlfriend should not be a thing to want . . . . getting a friend that you can enjoy things with should be the ideal way of thinking. For one, you are not trying to meet a agenda, meaning it will be less stressful and on top of that you do not try hard or focus on making her like you . . . . you would not be true to yourself. That's why all online dating end up with a break-up or divorce.

    So back to my point, stop looking for a girlfriend and look for friends.

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