Is it better to tell a friend you like them or wait to get over it?

I (22F) have strong feelings a for a close friend(24M) of mine. I’m struggling horribly to get over the feelings because he’s just great to be around and it makes it worse Every time

 I’m with him. I want to tell him about my feelings and let him know that I’m going to take a breather from hanging out with him so that I can move on. 

He has done some things that have lead others to believe the feelings are mutual but I disagree and am very sure he doesn’t feel the same towards me. 

But it’s exhausting and painful being head over heels for someone who isn’t for me... would it ruin our friendship for me to tell him? 

And if he does like me would he respond negatively to me confessing and then saying I need space? One person told me that men like the chase and the wait. Others say to be up front and tell him how I feel. I’m bewildered. 

Should I confess or simply suffer in silence till it all goes away?

4 Answers

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  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's a tough spot to be in; on the one hand if you're right and he DOESN'T feel the same way, then yes it's possible that your confession of feelings could hurt the friendship. It happens. Not all the time, but a lot of the time. On the other hand if you DON'T tell him how you feel it's extremely unlikely that your feelings will simply 'all go away' as you put it. More likely is that you'll remain in love with him and remain in pain because you're not able to have the romantic relationship you yearn for. I'll tell you this though; if you don't tell him how you feel it's possible that you'll never REALLY know whether he feels the same way, and you'll end up regretting that you never told him the truth. Yeah, it might hurt the friendship (if you both allow it to), but you'll never regret telling him how you feel. Good luck!

  • 2 months ago

    If he's single and he liked you more than a friend back then I would tell him, but if not, then I would not say anything to him as you don't want to ruin your friendship. I'll tell you an experience I have: I have a best friend and he's a lot older than me. He lives in my apartment building with me and he has a wife. I get along with the wife okay too, but when I first started hanging out with him I developed a crush on him even though I knew he's married, but I never told him and I never would because I don't want to ruin my friendship with him or his wife. But there was a time I had to just stay away and stop hanging out with him because I kept feeling so good when I'd hang out with him and I didn't want to give into my temptations and slip and do things I shouldn't. He and his wife knew I wasn't coming around much for a while, but I never told them why because to this day I still don't want to hurt them. But if you write in a journal I would definitely write down all your thoughts. That's what I do. 

  • Ana
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    My god, you’re terrible at this dating thing. 

    Let me help you out. It’s real simple. If you want to succeed in dating you need to realize a few truths:

    1) it’s better for you to be genuine and honest.

    2) tell him the truth.

    3) if a guy is a friend with you, he most likely wants to f*uck you. 

  • 2 months ago

    welcome to the world of women being expected to behave like guys. being willing but fearful of rejection... risk: reward.

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