Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

How do I help my boyfriend do something?

So I and my boyfriend graduated. I’m going to uni and he’s just confused. He doesn’t know what he wants to do. He says he only wants to be with me. And it kind of puts pressure on me and I want him to do things too. Would I be pushy if I said he should work or go to college or should I just stay silent?

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    pushy no bad idea yes

    you are confusing his lack of drive as failing to do what you think is the right path

    while him doing nothing is not a acceptable choice and making excuses he cannot find a job is not acceptable

    you act as if his cost of living and cost of college is not a problem

    for most people it is and not having a motivated goal to reach with college is not a good idea 

    being with you does not mean anything,,, as far of how will he and you afford to live.  

    yes be silent to a point but after a few weeks-months (no more than 2) he needs a job,, I do not care what it is,,, any job 

    note - how will you afford to live and pay for college.. I would say if your borrowing money it is not a good idea and when someone like you BF has no goal the loan money is wasted -- college is not for most people % wise 

    note the people telling you if you go to college you are guaranteed a good paying job LIED  ---- the reason you hear so many people complain about paying their student loans is they never got the DREAM PAY job they had expected and paying for the student loans on meager wages as just about everyone starts at 

    I worry about you carrying him if he is not motivated 

    I worry about you expecting him t carry you while you go to school and dump him at the end of school because not you are superior to him (elitists college mentality) 

    sit down make a written plan for you and him and that is not what you want but the exact details on how your will obtain and secure that goal and that means worst case scenario 

    the plan is not what you wish to obtain but how a dollar by dollar budget plan  

  • Mike
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    When you try to help someone who never asked for it, very rarely does it end well.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Maybe he wants to be a stay at home dad.

  • Girl
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    I wouldn’t consider that pushy. You say he is confused, so you are giving him some possible suggestions he could do. Maybe you can expand on what his interests are and he can do something he enjoys, do some research with him and help him.

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