Should I ignore my aunt’s comment?
I’m a white Australian Christian woman. My aunt is white and Jewish. She’s outraged that I’m friends with and interested in dating an African American man living in America. She said that I should stop running after black men. That they only use white women for sex and that African Americans would never accept a white woman into their family. She also said which may be true, that it’s impossible to get a green card for America and difficult to move someone to Australia, so it would never work out. From what I know of Dennis (not his real name); he’s a kind, god fearing Christian man who’s been nothing but supportive of me; so I stood up for him and told her that. I don’t know much about African Americans and I had one bad experience with one years ago. But that was one person. How should I respond to this attitude and feel about it?
- Anonymous2 months agoFavorite Answer
Ignore the remarks, not her. Its your life. God nowhere prohibits interracial marriage. Moses married a black woman. God commands believers not to marry unbelievers regardless of color because we become one with the person we marry.
Get to know this man. There are those out there who are untrustworthy. At least a year, better two. No hurry. Better to know him now before marriage than two years into marriage. There are other real issues like your aunt says. Prepare for those contingencies and devise plans to address them when and if they arise. Hopefully you will work things out. Just know the person, all the issues, and be prepared for them. Anything worthwhile is worth preparing for. Dont expect things to fall into place on their own. They wont.
- Anonymous2 months ago
You need your own kind of people you don't understand blacks when they get upset
- Zac ZLv 72 months ago
I'm sorry to hear that your aunt is openly racist.
Whom you are friends with or whom you are interested in dating is none of your aunts business. For the sake of family peace, I'd simply not mention Dennis anymore around your aunt.
Her characterization of African Americans is simply nonsense. There are good and bad ones just like in any other group.
In 2020 the claim that "African Americans would never accept a white woman into their family" shouldn't even be worth a remark; you'll find plenty of counterexamples, even prominent ones.
What might be a real problem is the long-distance aspect of the blooming relationship. (Which of course is independent from the ethnic background and the skin color of this Dennis.)
Realistically, the relationship isn't going to go anywhere if you never meet in person. But relocating to another continent is a big step. You seem to know all this so I'll leave it at that.
It could help to a certain extent if you guys visited each other, maybe went on a holiday together. But the problem with this is that being on a visit or going on a holiday will be special circumstances under which potential issues might not become apparent. But it could help to rule out major incompatibilities. Like if you don't manage to get along during a holiday, you'll not going to be happy under more regular circumstances.
You didn't talk about the stage of life at which you or Dennis are or how old you are. Depending on this there might be some options. You could try to go to the US as an au pair in his area. This would be much better than a holiday. Not only would you get to know normal life in the US but you could also get to know Dennis in a normal setting.The advantage here would be that your stay wouldn't revolve around him and even if it turned out that it doesn't work at all the time wouldn't be wasted. In fact, it might be a great experience for you. (Just make sure you won't end up in a racist host family! :-p )
Alternatively, Dennis could try to come to Australia with a working holiday visa or something like that. Again, not as final as relocation or a permanent employment but if he'd be able to find places to work in your area you could have ample opportunities to get to know each other in a normal setting.
I've just realized that most of my answer didn't address your question which was mostly about your aunt.
Sorry if the suggestions were unhelpful.The reason, as I've said above, is that I don't think that your aunt's opinion is of any relevance. (Except if you're underage and your aunt were your custodian.)
Just don't mention the topic any longer and she might forget about it.
- 2 months ago
I do not see the reason for this question of yours, if you are truly Christian, and he is truly Christian, there is God's law where he absolutely advises that Christians should unite and marry among themselves.
Now you should say what church you are from, and what church is he from, what is the name of the church?