Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

Wife is happiest when she’s at home but the problem is we can’t afford for her to be a stay at home wife ?

She said she’s paid her dues worked 20 years and now she just wants to be at home. I wouldn’t mind her staying home if we could afford it she’s not understanding we can’t afford it. My income alone won’t do it for us plus we have a 15 and 14 year old. Both boys. I make $80 K a year but we have tons of bills a big house two cars. The kids eat ton so we constantly grocery shop at least twice a week so that’s a big bill in itself.She was unemployed for 3 months during the pandemic and she was extremely happy and pleasant to be around. She was planting her gardens and watching a lot of Netflix .Now she’s biting my head off for everything and nothing seems to be good enough for her. She’s talking about how she’s tired of managers who tell you when you can or cannot go to the bathroom and she just don’t want to be under anyone’s thumb. People keep telling me to get her in a better job. This is a brand new job she’s at and she’s still complaining. She just doesn’t want to work. She said it herself. 

6 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    If your wife lost her job because of the pandemic, wasn't she getting her unemployment payment PLUS $600 extra a week because of losing work?  If she didn't apply, that's her problem because those days are over. They aren't giving the extra money now.  

  • 2 months ago

    Simple - tell her she needs to be willing to make a radical changes to the lifestyle you share so you can afford to do without the extra pay. Like cutting off the Netflix, not going out for dinner, getting rid of the second car, etc, and she will have to pull more of her weight around the house. See what she says then? 

  • 2 months ago

    Her desires are understandable, if not affordable. You asked this question before, I believe?  There appear to be two alternatives: either she returns to work for the time being, if that's even possible in this current pandemic; or you find ways to cut down on your expenses. You may need to revert to having one car. Netflix is optional recreation.  You have a "big house"? You may choose to downsize and move. You may wish to rent instead of own. But whatever you decide, it has to be a mutually agreed upon decision, or it won't work. Good luck.     

  • Athena
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Unfortunately for her it is NOT just her decision to make.  She is a PARTNER and both PARTNERS have to agree. 

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • David
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    I would solve that problem by divorcing her.  No, I'm serious.  She can even take the kids if she wants to, and I'd be happy to pay child support.  Think about it.  Child support will be a lot less than it will cost for her to live with the kids.  There's also a slim chance that she might decide to leave the kids with YOU, but I doubt that.  Your child support payment would be about $2000 (probably), which would leave you with about $3000 after taxes.   You wouldn't have a house payment, as the house would be sold.  You would still have one car payment.  It's do-able.  Get yourself a studio apartment for $1000, or maybe a lot less.   Make your child support payment, your car payment, your RENT...

    and you'd still have about $2000 per month.  If that doesn't sound like much, keep in mind that you are paying almost nothing for utilities and buying groceries for YOURSELF.  Even if you split major credit card debt, it's not going to eat up much of the $2000 you have to live on after other expenses.

    Tell her that if she doesn't get a full-time job within one month and KEEP IT for the next five years...

    That you will file for divorce.  If she refuses to get her butt to work, then do file for divorce.  Either way, you win financially.  Either she helps you with the household bills, as she should, or you SHED a lot of household bills and she can figure out how to support HERSELF.  

    I think she will be smart enough to figure out that for HER it is a better deal to stay married....and stay employed.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    We’re a family of 7, we live in a house, have 3 cars, only I work, while my wife looks after the children, I earn 50k, I manage to save enough money tO go on vacation each year.

    You just need to be good with money, don’t just spend it as it comes

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.