Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

How do I deal with my time-demanding father in-law?

My  wife's 82 year old  father has been making lots of demands our my wife's time and my time. He has also been making demands of his own children's time.  Two  months ago, he called one of his son's and asked him  to get his friends and head over to his business and help him start moving things out of the buidling where his business is. The hidden subtext was that his landlord was going to throw him out of the building by the end of the month. The alarm was sounded and most of his kids and I showed up to help. This man is a hoarder and was focusing on the most inane things in his shop while we worked hard to get things moved out. Meanwhile his wife is fighting cancer and was at home with my wife's sister, who went on leave from her job to take care of her mother. His business is on life support but he thinks he can keep it going even though he hasn't sold any of his product in more than two months. He also goes to work to escape dealing with the fact that his wife is  going to die from cancer. We later found out that he did not need to be out by the end of the month and is now moving to a new space. He also expects us to go back and help him and to just put our lives on hold to do this. His daughter who was taking care of his wife is going back to work, He is now looking at my wife to take over while he continues doing whatever he is going to do. My wife is heading back to work in a few weeks. I am getting angry at being at his beck and call. How do I deal with this?

3 Answers

  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Not sure why you have to deal with the situation.  He's not your father.  And if your wife has to go back to work, she needs to tell him she's not available.  

    I guess the best thing the family can do is insist he sells the business because they aren't able to help him with whatever it is he is asking for.  

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You and your wife, need to cut contact with him. Family are always a problem, if you let them. Stop being used.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You don't. This is your wife's father and dealing with him is her job. If she won't make some arrangements for her mother's care and get her dad an assessment for dementia then your issue is with her, not him. 

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