Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

How do I get over a 5 year relationship that was ended while my life is a mess?

My Boyfriend of 5 years just broke up with me. We were in a long distance relationship. There were very big signs that he was going to end it soon, but it still hurts. A part of me is relieved because I am currently taking care of my very sick kitty Smokey and dealing with all the crazy crap going on with COVID-19 and the riots, and everything. He didn't care about what was happening and was focused on getting what he wanted. For a while he was so sweet to me. At first he was a complete jerk and would lash out at me over every little thing. His ex girlfriend had completely destroyed him and because of that he has gone down a self destructive path hurting all of the girls he has been with in the past (Now including me ;x;) I had to fight hard to break down his walls and get him to open up to me. Once that happened it was incredible, I could talk to him about anything and everything and he could do the same with me. I thought i was going to marry him, but now that's not going to happen. Towards the end he became cold and mean again. He told me it was because I couldn't call him on the phone all the time like he wanted me to. There was also some personal things he wanted that made me uncomfortable which is also part of the reason why he dumped me. I couldn't talk about my feelings with him anymore, he would say mean things and then not apologize and just brush it aside like it was nothing, he would take out all of his issues on me. How do I get over the good times we had? 

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ok, you are currently looking at this in a nostalgic rose tinted glasses way. He was emotionally abusive to you, yes this was based on his previous relationships and experiences but it is still no excuse and he is a grown man and could have worked on these issues instead of projecting them onto you. His ex girlfriend obvious impacted his ability to trust, or maybe he wasn't fully over her. It sounds like you really have put heart and soul into this relationship and so much effort. Seems like he made demands of you, you were assertive and explained that you did not want to do certain things and he didn't like it. More power to you, well done for being assertive and not bending to his rules and how he wants things. You deserve a man who does apologise and not just brush over things. It seems like your needs were not met and you were not heard. You heard him and you provided for him in many ways. You must feel drained and tired. It sounds weird but by making a list of all of the things you don't like about him helps. This will help you to see things as they were and not be all nostalgic. It is a tough time for you but you need time to heal and you need to not let him back into your life if he does contact you because you are hurting and it will only confuse you more. You need to get stronger now and you have that strength within you. You are a strong independent woman :-) 

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    A LTR seldom ever works...I have no idea why anyone would be so foolish to get into one.

  • 2 months ago

    maybe you were better off ending it

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Wait your boyfriend is 5 years old? You freaking pedophile

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  • lover
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    It will be very hard. I cant even get over my crush.

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