Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Should I seek help for my nephew?

My nephew is 31 (I am his aunt) and he only has 2 friends and is single. He says he gets along well with people at work but doesn't hang out with them outside of work.  

He never goes to parties and will never start a random conversation with a person he sees on the street or on the bus. When I ask him personal questions it is always one word answers.

I think he is either depressed or has a mental disorder (like autism) he insists he is fine the way he is but I think he needs help to be more confident, everyone else is extroverted and to be that shy and quiet is a sign that something is wrong, I have asked him many times about his feelings and he gets irritated at me(is this also a sign something is wrong)

For Charles Darwin shyness was an 'odd state of mind' appearing to offer no benefit to our species, and since the 1970s the modern tendency in psychology sees shyness as pathology

My sons are 28 and 33, they love going out, talking, chatting, gossiping and have at least 2 or 3 SEPARATE GROUPS of friends.

I have told him many times that he is lonely and he says he isn't. I even tried to get his parents involved and told them to make him open up about his feelings but they said he is an adult and can live how he pleases and that he talks to them all the time, they even have Sunday dinners together every week. But I say they need to do more, they need to be more involved in his life.

Should I get him to see a therapist or just try and make him more talkative myself? 

5 Answers

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Why are you sticking your nose into his life? Get out of his life. MYOB...he has parents, and you are not one of them. You may very well be paying for this one day, and you will not like how it will effect you.  Who has made you a expert? YOU say, who are you?  MYOB...if he has a mental problem, he may get his fill of you and kill you. Back off, get out of these peoples lives.  You have two sons, worry about them. You will pay for this!!!!!!!

  • 2 months ago

    Option C:

    Accept your nephew the way he is, acknowledge that he is an adult, and stop trying to force him into your idea of “right.”

    Being talkative or extroverted is not inherently superior to being quiet or introverted.  There is nothing in your question that suggests your nephew has something “wrong” with him, just that he’s different than you and your kids.

  • 2 months ago

    Your concern is admirable, your reaching out to him, as well. But he has the right to live as he pleases, and at this point, your continued efforts may be an invasion of his privacy, and experienced in such a way as to cause resentment and alienation from you, if you persist.  He has told you he isn't interested in seeking help or changing ,despite your concerns or however legitimate they may be. So you do need to respect his wishes and back off, or you may lose your well intentioned relationship with him, permanently.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    only if he wants help

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  • 2 months ago

    Look, the guy is 31.

    He is a grown adult man who can manage his own life!

    Imagine an aunt trying to get involved in your personal life at 31?  Horrible!

    Don't you know where the social boundaries are?

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