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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 9 months ago

Boyfriend wants to be "just friends"?

My bf broke up with me and says he wants to just be friends. He said we can still hang out and even cuddle, but hes too depressed to be in a relationship right now. I told him we cant just be friends after falling in love, so I cant see him anymore because that would hurt me.

Did I make the right decision, or would he have eventually committed to me again if I hung out with him as "friends"?

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  • 9 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Oh my dear you were SO right.  Don't mistrust your instincts because they were spot on.  You were in love with him and hopefully, he with you.  He then blames depression etc on his decision NOT to be in this loving relationship with you anymore.  So basically he dumped you.  From his point of view there was nothing really wrong with you and he was still open to being 'friends' and maybe having the odd cuddle occasionally.  That would have been good for HIM.  However, that would NOT be good for you and your instinct knew this.  To drop from fantastic love to just a pale version....like with the odd cuddle.....would be HUGELY damaging to you - and clever you knew it.  Being 'just friends' after what you've had would be absolute torture for you so why would you put yourself through that?  It would be foolish to prolong the agony.  This boy has got to sort himself out and needs the space to do that.....fine.  You need the space too, to lick your wounds and recover from this failed relationship.  Yes, a clean break (no meetings, chatting, cuddles, following online, talking & thinking about him) is the VERY best thing you can do.  He's hoping for the best of both worlds (you on the side only if he fancies a chat) plus the freedom to do what he wants without you.  You are a survivor.  I think your ex boyfriend is a bit of a loser unfortunately and he doesn't yet realise he's lost you - probably the best person that's ever going to happen to him.  He'll regret it one day when it's far too late.  You are streets ahead of him.  Good luck

  • 9 months ago

    You gotta just move on it’s not gonna work out 

  • 9 months ago

    You made the right decision for you. There is no objective 'right decision', because every situation is different.

  • 9 months ago

    This is a no winner situation, and impossible to predict what would have happened.

    You can only deal with the FACTS you have, and the biggest one is, he doesnt want to be in a relationship with you. Regardless of reason, he doesnt. 

    You made the correct decision for both of you.

    It was the only sensible one TO make. This way, neither of you are left wondering, or hoping

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