Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 3 weeks ago

Are these red flags too big to ignore? ?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months, he’s getting really pushy about meeting my family and I told him I’m not ready but he’s relentless and says I must be embarrassed of him. I have been out with him so many times, he’s met my friends... but family is big for me. I also have my doubts because we have had 3 arguments already that were detrimental to the relationship. They have all been because of his anger and the way he handles it- I know he would never put his hands on me, but he could get triggered by something small like if I jokingly tease him, and he will start talking over me, antagonising me, talking to me condescendingly and laughing if I try to tell him how I feel. I think that’s extremely disrespectful. He said it will never happen again and we haven’t fought in a week.. Which is big considering 3 weeks ago we argued almost 3-4 times a week 

Update:

When I jokingly tease him, I’m saying things like “awww you’re so cute!” Because I know that makes him shy, he will laugh sometimes and get angry other times. Sometimes we sexually tease him each other by pretending to be in the mood and then saying no, just to be annoying. I always take it as a joke, he also laughs about it but decides to get angry about it out of the blue 

18 Answers

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  • Record breaking week lol...

  • 3 weeks ago

    Only four months and he's shown you what kind of guy you don't want to be with. Meeting your family is entirely up to you. He shouldn't be pushing you. 4 months isn't long enough to where you would want to bring him around. He has a lot of nerve trying to make you do it. If he gets angry easily and you've had arguments, those are very big red flags, unless you want a life of that. 

  • 3 weeks ago

    Confront him and let him know that you don’t feel comfortable being cornered and when you’re ready to introduce him to your family you will do it. 

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    I am going to assume you are a female.

    Let me get this straight, so you think it's fine to tease someone else right. Well how would you feel if someone were to tease you?

    I don't think teasing someone is respectful.

    OMG if you were my girlfriend, and you started to tease me then you would never hear the end of it from me.

    Ummm.....maybe I could tease you about your breasts, or your weight. I could probably think of other stuff to tease you about.

    If you are going to start something with another human being then you better be able to take it. I am on your boyfriend's side. I can understand why he is behaving like that, but you can't.

    I can't believe he backed off from this issue. I would not back off from an issue like this one especially if I knew a woman started it with me.

    I actually see a red flag, and you made it. I think you would get on my nerves if you were my girlfriend just like you are doing with your boyfriend, so this an issue that you created.

    I am a male by the way.

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  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    If he gets upset by you teasing him jokingly (and the proceeds to be all condescending with you) AND is worried you are embarrassed of him, he must be pretty insecure. 

    Yeah, arguments happen, but they shouldn't be happening that frequently, especially if they are big ones. 

    Please reconsider this relationship. It doesn't seem like he can talk without getting upset most of the time. If I were you, I would definitely wait for him to meet you parents (1) because you REALLY need to think hard if you want to be treated this way. You don't deserve to be. You have every right to hold your ground and wait a little while before he meets your parents. I think that is very reasonable. Until he drastically changes, I wouldn't recommend staying! Sorry! 

  • Helen
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    "we haven't fought in a week" is not how you should be measuring success in a 4 month old relationship.

    It's a wonder why you have ignored these red flags for so long. 

  • Merry
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    The part of your question that really jumps out is "They have all been because of his anger and the way he handles it- I know he would never put his hands on me"

    RUN... Seriously - the red flags are on fire. 

    There is no bigger warning sign! 

  • Jesere
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Leave this guy he is an abuser

  • 3 weeks ago

    They are red flags for certain. Why would you ever ignore them? Red flags are so-called for a reason. They are to draw your attention to things that are wrong in a relationship. Ignore them at your peril.

  • 3 weeks ago

    The fact you are asking proves they are not. You are capable of ignoring them.

    NO, I didn't read the details. I answered the question you actually asked.

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