Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 3 weeks ago

Do you think this relationship sounds like it's just a phase of lust and infatuation or likely to last for the long haul?

I'm worried about my little cousin but her parents don't seem to be intervening so I feel that I can't do anything else.   

She's 22 and her on again off again boyfriend is 40 he's never married, no kids, no home, no stable career. They started dating when she was 20 and he was 38. They met at the gym they both worked at. He was a trainer and she worked at the juice bar. My cousin has low self esteem, she was homeschooled, has limited social skills, very few friends and a history of psychiatric inpatient stays. She's had an eating disorder, self harm disorder and mood problems. She reliant on marijuana to get through the day and she vents all of her personal issues online.   

This older guy swept her off her feet, he took her on vacation to San Francisco 2 months after they met and flew her out there wined and dined her and footed the bill. Then after 4 months they got an apartment together, her first time leaving home. she didn't know how to cook or do laundry. Her parents (my tia/tio) did everything for her. Since that time they've broken up and gotten back together 4x from 2018 to the present date. They now live separately again and both moved back in with their parents. Their relationship drama has played out over facebook. She said he was a narcissist and even went to therapy. Now she says he's the love of her life and they're waiting for her to graduate college next year and then they'll get another place together, right now they're dating again. She just cannot move on

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    It always sucks when people you care about have clueless parents and a sucky upbringing, but it doesn't change a basic fact.  At 22, she's a grown woman, meaning she's responsible for her choices.  She's also responsible for coping with the consequences of those choices.  In a way, it would be wrong to try to save her from those consequences, since this usually means enabling.   If she's still on track to graduate next year, at least she's doing something right.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    She is 22. MYOB.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    last time you were interested in this girl, and now you're her COUSIN? lol

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