Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 4 weeks ago

Is it cheating to talk to other people when your gf is always busy and unavailable?

I have been in love with this girl for the past 8 years, weve been together for 3.5 years out of the 8 as i hadn’t confessed my love for her until 5 years later.

Latelt, shes been busy, emotionally unavailable, hanging out with friends and family and ignoring me day and night

We barely meet or talk over the phone... this has been going on for 6 months and i talked to her repeatedly how that was making me feel upset

Recently i met this girl and she lives far away, shes working and studying and actually made time to speak with me and chat and hang out on daily basis. At first i didnt think much of it, but now Im into her and vice versa.

What do i do?

Is this cheating?

Help!!!

35 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    If you would’ve thought of it as cheating when she was more available, then it’s cheating now. Communication and trust are two key parts of a relationship. If you communicated how you feel and nothing has changed that’s not good communication. If you’re talking to and having feelings for another girl she doesn’t now about you are not very trustworthy. Break up with her.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Dump her.She hasnt got the courage to break up with you so she's hoping you'll break up with her. Get on with your life and look for girls who are interested in you and date them.Avoid your girlfriend,dont contact her.Date whoever you want.Its time to move on and enjoy your life with other girls.Always look for just the girls that look at you and they smile at you.Those girls are interested in you.You're not likely to get rejected.Good luck.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Yes this is most definitely cheating. Have an honest conversation with your girlfriend about it. Tell her what’s going on. It’s the right thing to do. Always do the right thing. Decide if you want to be with her or the new girl. Always communicate before going that route.

  • 3 weeks ago

    I think you need to ask yourself who you want to be with the old gf or this new girl. Pick one and then go with it. If you stay with the old gf you need to have a frank conversation about spending time together. I don’t think it’s cheating if it isn’t physical and it hasn’t gone sexual. 

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Before you even think about cheating you should ask yourself why is she saying she’s unavailable all the time. Explain to her that your worried and not happy that she  is not communicating enough with you. Don’t be a dick though. Be subtle because you never know she might have stuff going on like anxiety and depression. 

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Would it be OK with you for your girlfriend to do the same?    Or would you view that as cheating?

    Make up your mind: are you in love with one or into the other?     Or do you want both?

  • 4 weeks ago

    It depends what you’re talking about. If you’re talking about regular ordinary stuff, then I don’t really see a problem with it. But if you’re having phone s*x Or similar inappropriate conversations with other people who aren’t your partner, then I think it’s starting to cross a line.

  • 4 weeks ago

    I don't think it's cheating but i think that the other girl likes you but she's doing good at just keeping things at a friend level but i also think the obvious answer would be to break up with the other girl and date the one you've been hanging out with because your gf doesn't sound invested anymore. She sounds like she's lost interest and i hate to say that but that's how it comes off to me because what you're describing sounds like that and normally i would say to talk it out but she's not even letting you talk to her she's ignoring you and your attempts to get ahold of her. You even flat out told her that her ignoring you was bothering you and she didn't care enough to quit. Just make sure that door with you and your gf is completely closed before you start dating the one you've been hanging out with. Good luck and hope this helps.

  • 4 weeks ago

    It's not cheating. All that being busy thing is BS. Generally if a girl is interested, she will find time. If she's not interested, she will create excuses. Read between the lines here: She found another guy when you first started noticing 6 months ago, and she's trying to create distance between you & her so that your relationship will fade.

    In either case, in a healthy relationship both partners need to have a similar amount of communication. You guys are clearly out of balance. If it creates stress that you can't resolve, then it's time for you to move on.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Pause.

    Pause your conversations with the other girl and approach your girlfriend about the matter. Be clear and concise in your reasoning and explain how you feel in detail. It doesn't matter whether talking to another girl is cheating or not; it matters what your girlfriend would think of it. Show some consideration and speak your mind to your girlfriend, otherwise the problem will get worse.

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