Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 4 weeks ago

Man I'm talking to online is jealous of my real life new friendship with another girl? ?

I'm 21 this man is 30 and my new friend is 24. 

I've been talking to this man since early 2019. When i started talking to him i had isolated myself thanks to crippling anxiety. I felt lonely but it soon became clear we had quite a bit in common! Similar interests, we were very retro and things like that. I genuinely enjoyed talking to him and viewed him as a cyber friend.

I was uncomfortable though when he started making it clear he wanted to meet and have sex. During lockdown i have cybersex (typing things on a screen) with him and he says he wants us to have a weekend of sex but doesn't want a relationship. I don't want to meet him ever so i keep trying to fob him off but he won't take no for a answer. He calls me "baby" and tells me he loves me. It freaks me out when we've never met and he says this.

End of last year i met a 23 year old girl named Connie on a college course. We instantly hit it off, so much so people thought we already knew each other. We just clicked! Now we have such a lovely friendship. We are caring and affectionate towards each other and play videogames together during lockdown! We really are kindred spirits and if she was a boy i think we would be together.

I always gush about her when we talk and he hates it. Since i met Connie and have formed a meaningful friendship I've realised i don't need him anymore. He told me to choose between them how can i let him down gently? He's always like "why is she better than me?" etc. Am i meant to be sorry?

5 Answers

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    wtf he doesn't love you he's playing you! chat **** i hope you don't say i love you back cos you can't love someone you never met. any man saying they do love a woman they don't know is a compulsive liar. if he truly loved you or even had a ounce of respect for you in his small minded mind he would want you to be his girlfriend, not just wanna use you for a booty call and he would be happy your new friendship is going so well. i bet connie loves you more than he does and you're not even lesbians

    he's too old for you as well btw bin the creepy bastard off

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Tell him to fuk off! You don't even need to let him down. Does he seriously think you shouldn't have anything to do with anyone else besides him? He's mentally ill that's clear as day to see! Fuk sake, this is bloody creepy! He is nearly 10 years older than you, you're in two totally different life stages but it's like you're the key to his happiness. He needs you and without you it's like he can't cope. That's a big responsibility for someone your age. Even if you had never met this girl, would you really be prepared for that? I would hope not! You deserve a life outside him.

    If you really are this important to him then that is not at all healthy. I mean you've never even met! You should tell him when lockdown is over to go out and see if he can hit it off with someone in person like you did. Or find a girlfriend and leave you the fuk alone. Forever. Why should you spend your days or nights talking to someone so needy, pushy, arrogant etc.? I don't think he respects you at all. Get real girl! He has even said himself he wants to have sex with you but doesn't want a relationship. Then in the same breath claims he loves you? No he doesn't! He never has and he never will. He just wants you in his bed. He won't even care that that is cheap and dirty, he just wants to get his rocks off. I don't trust him as far as i could throw him. You shouldn't either.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Tbh i can't really blame his reaction. I think it's a bit rude of you to show that you have clearly lost interest in him now that you've suddenly found yourself a better offer. Don't you realise you're practically rubbing it in his face "look how strong my new friendship is omg she's amazing and would be perfect for me if she or i was a boy!" if the boot was on the other foot how would you feel? I'm sure you'd feel just as bad as he does. It's like people who boast about their "perfect life" on social media, there's no need for it at all.

    Stop fuckking bragging, this is clearly hurting him as he knows deep down he is losing you. Why do you have to keep talking about her to him anyway? So you two get on like a house on fire, great. Does he need to know this? No. He doesn't.

    It honestly doesn't matter that you've met her and not him, you maintained a strong rapport for at least 10 months or so with him before you even knew she existed. I think that's what is upsetting him, rather than being jealous of you and her. Ngl you sound like a user. I bet you'll drop "Connie" when someone even better comes along.

  • 4 weeks ago

    a guy who only aims for sex will not be hurt...let him down any way you feel like it!

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Jesus christ, what a loser! He probably has no friends of his own so expects you not to have any either so you only have each other. From what you've said, he sounds incredibly immature for his age, as well as really pushy and slightly possessive and obsessive of you. I'm pleased you seem to have him sussed you sensible girl! Don't ever give him any personal details and please please please don't apologise for your blossoming friendship with this girl. What's it gotta do with him anyway? He doesn't even know you! Or her for that matter!

    There's no need to let him down gently, you carry on your new and real life friendship and simply stop talking to him. Block him or something. Can't honestly believe he thinks given the choice you will choose him (Someone you've never met) over your friend (Someone you have met) what a brain dead idiot! And another thing the guy needs to realise not everything lasts forever. Expecting you to talk to him forever more is not fair on you when you clearly want to give him up and put your energy into this new friendship.

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