Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 3 weeks ago

is it just me, or does anyone else feel this insecure about this..?

My bf and I have been dating for over a year now. I love him so much, he's such a gentleman and cares for me a great deal. 

Downside to all of this, are my insecurities. I used to hate myself for being ugly, but then my bf came along and kept reminding me how beautiful I am. That was really great, however, nowadays I have been feeling the slight pressure that I HAVE to be beautful...this has nothing to do with him forcing me anything. Its just me thinking that maybe if I'm not pretty all the time like he says I am..that he will be disgusted to find that I'm really not like he thinks I am. I'm hairy, not as pleasant smelling as other girls, really clumsy, not very bright. And yes, I know I shouldn't worry because all bodies are beautiful in their way, but, even in my best days of hygiene I still dont smell great and I have no one to teach me the ways of women. If he sees the real me, he might be disgusted. Is there anyone else out there that for some reason feels the same way..? Is me feeling this way a red flag for my relationship on my part?

1 Answer

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    I'm a girl too and I can relate to you, I could have written some of this post myself. I try to have good hygiene, and while I know I don't smell bad, I'm sure I don't smell as good as others idk.. I just know I don't. Also I'm hairy too lol ... I'm athletic but I still have a bit of a belly and I'm not skinny. I also hate how I'm flat chested and have kinda broad shoulders argh...

    Something that I think is true is that when WE think we look bad, we actually don't look as bad as we think. Honestly, your boyfriend seems like a great guy and he does not see you as ugly. Seriously, you are not ugly. I don't know what you look like, but I can guarantee you are not ugly. While I hate some of my features and get depressed occasionally, I know that I'm pretty in my own way. besides, I'd rather have a guy love me for who I am (personality, looks, everything) rather than just looks. 

    So, you need to change how YOU feel about yourself, which is easier said than done. Your boyfriend loves you. I don't think he would be disgusted if he saw the real you. Personally, I'd rather see the real guy, not some guy who puts on a show for me. 

    We all have our insecurities, but please please, don't put yourself down. You deserve to be happy. There must be something you like about yourself - your eyes, your sense of humor. :)

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