Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 3 weeks ago

For sexual prime/options women’s is earlier in youth but men’s is later through status, so is it fair men have access after his kids grow up?

In other words, that there’s no shame in him either openly asking his wife if he can have affairs to keep their marriage secure or to end the marriage completely to pursue the options he never had access to. Is this fair?

Update:

I personally don’t have a partner, let alone kids, but that doesn’t mean I can’t ask questions about fairness in the market of dating and relationships

9 Answers

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  • 2 weeks ago

    Consult with marriage specialist to solve it.

  • 2 weeks ago

    I am going to say the same to you, that I say to others.  What part of the wedding vows did you not understand?  They are not complicated.  The only complication in them, is you want a loop hole to render them null and void.  Well, you had one.  It was called, staying single.  What is an open relationship?  It is not a relationship at all.  How can a state trooper give you the right to break a law, which he did not pass or put into effect?  Same thing with God.  Your spouse cannot tell you that it is okay to cheat, and make it any less a sin.  Oh, the spouse my not sue you for it, but it is still a sin, as no one can forgive you of a sin other than the one you commit against them.  And since this would not only be a violation against the mate, but also God, the mate would only be able to forgive you for part, not all.

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Sexual prime for a man isn’t later, it’s earlier. Viagra isn’t around for 22 year old men, it’s around for the men in their 50s (or older) who just aren’t as virile as their younger counterparts. They may be more successful from a career or financial standpoint, but they are not in their sexual prime. Women actually hit their sexual peaks in their 30s-40s, so by your logic, she should be able to have affairs with younger men who are better able to satisfy her sexually at that point in her life.

    I can guess why you don’t have a partner.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    You have an odd view of marriage.  Very few men are as shallow as you seem to think.  Most people get married because they love each other and want to spend their lives together.  The relationship is emotional.  

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  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    It's fair if you are okay with her opting to leave and take half. If she is truly no longer interested in s*x then she may be open to the possibility of a don't-ask-don't-tell policy. However your logic makes no sense. As you indicate, men tend to have families later in life and if that is the case, then they certainly did have access to pursue anyone they wanted BEFORE they made a lifetime commitment to another person. However I admire your integrity for not just straight up cheating. It gives her the choice. And her choice could be divorce and I would highly suggest you discretely speak to an attorney before you breach this subject with your wife just in case because divorces are emotionally and financially devastating. Your adult children will take her side for hurting their mom - you may get lucky and get one or two that will try not to get in the middle. Obviously you're not happy. Maybe your wife is willing to work on giving you more of what you want. It's normal to wonder what else is out there particularly once you hit your 50s and are done with child-rearing. But if you hit it with a 35 year old that's never had kids, she's going to want kids. And you may find after a few years that the generational gap with her makes you incompatible and then you have to pay her child support and possible spousal support. And then end up completely alone because then both your exes will have taken all your money and it's possible none of your kids will talk to you.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    A marriage is so post to be just between two people, a man and a woman.  If he decides to have sex with anyone else. He has left GOD, left the marriage, and become a follower of the Devil!  The Bible includes the Death Sentence for ones doing so! 

  • Magma
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    A mans sexual prime isn't in his later years. It's in his youth. I hate to tell you, but older guys aren't a hot commodity on the dating market. Younger women tend to go for guys their own age who are youthful, strong and virile. And older women tend to be settled and married. Older guys find it much harder to find sexual partners unless they are famous and rich. I think you've been watching too much tv.

    I don't think it is fair to ask your wife if you can have an affair. You could try, but you will more than likely lose her and end up chasing a fantasy that won't materialise. Then you will be alone, feeling like an idiot with nothing but regret.

  • 3 weeks ago

    physically, sexually and hormonaly speaking you are incredibly incorrect. His sexual peak comes at 18 when he is usually not married and free to sow his wild oats. hers comes at between 35-40 

  • 3 weeks ago

    You don't make much sense unfortunately.  But having affairs does NOT keep a marriage secure.  If you want to sleep around, get your wife to divorce you so you are totally free and you can do what you like.  Having affairs while you are married is insulting to your wife.  The same applies if she was the one having affairs.  That would insult you as her husband.

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