Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 3 months ago

Have I forced him to marry me?

My boyfriend promised to marry me after I told him while crying and sobbing that my mom told me bad things and insults, that I slept around (she actually used another word) and that I was a b**** because I had a boyfriend and I slept with him. She also told me I should have waited that he married me, because he is going to sleep with me until I get pregnant and then he'll leave me with am illegitime child and find another girl. I was in a really bad emotional state due to her words, my boyfriend is the one that treats me right and she doesn't accept him cause he is a factory worker (but a responsible and good guy) while I am a college graduate. While he was hugging me and consoled me he told me we will get married soon, so that we will be officially husband and wife and no one can say a thing about me anymore. I was so happy then but I felt like  he does that just cause he feels forced to not cause he really wants it

15 Answers

Relevance
  • 3 months ago

    Doesn't sound forced to me. he stepped up in a very romantic way.

  • 3 months ago

    If you have doubts about his intentions  then simply drop the subject and do not discuss marriage again. Time will tell if he really wants to make you his wife...or not. Allow him to propose and take it from there. If he does not officially ask you to marry him, then you got your answer.

    About that witch who is your mother...she is toxic and she is trying to hurt you. A loving mother does not talk to her daughter like your mom talks to you. She is a retch ed woman. 

    Honestly, stop sharing the details of your life with your mom because she is just going to chew it up and spit it at you.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    You're both too unestablished and too overly emotional to make a marriage work right now. Wait until you've finished your education and he's figured out how he's going to pay half the expenses of a family. You also need to find a way to get away from your psycho mother. If you fear the scrutiny of having a boyfriend one wonders how you'll feel about being a young divorcee, 'cause that's what'll happen if you rush into marriage. 

  • 3 months ago

    Two different things.  Your mother is way out of line.  It isn't her relationship so she could offer advice but there is no place for condemnation.

    Your BF may be feeling blackmailed.  Wait for a little while then ask him yourself when you are both on a fully even keel.  Be CERTAIN of his reasons.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    No your right, if your unsure about getting married dont, i am a guy and divorced,

    i only got married cause we had a baby, it didnt work out. Dont listen to your mother she just puts you down

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    I don't understand why it matters if he was forced to ask you to marry him or not.  You are an adult college educated woman.  Make your decision on whether you WANT to marry him, not why he's marrying you.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    What your mother told you might sound "harsh" but she makes a pretty good point... It is a FACT that premarital sex is behind our nation's high rates of single motherhood, aborted kids and STD.

    Now, you can tell your boyfriend that you understand if he doesn't want to marry you or if he doesn't want to marry you YET but at the same time you expect him to abstain from lustful premarital sex.

  • 3 months ago

    Can you blame him?  Why buy a cow if the milk is for nothing?

    Peace.

  • 3 months ago

    Sounds to me like you have a good supporting bf.   What he said simply indicates "some day", no date has been set, he understood your emotional state so did he say this to make you feel better?  Possibly.  But you aren't forcing anything at this point.  He obviously cares for you.  

    What I would worry about is how you are letting your mother make you feel bad about yourself.   She is verbally abusive, obviously miserable and just because she has her own f'd up idea about things doesn't mean you have to pay any attention to it.

    It is YOUR life, not hers.  I'm guessing she was maybe not raised in the nicest way either.  So try to have some compassion for her by reminding yourself that she is obviously hurting from things that have nothing at all to do with you and detach with love.  

    There is nothing wrong with talking to your bf about your concerns.  He obviously sees what your mom has subjected you to, the effect it has on you and is understanding about where you are coming from and your insecurities.  I'm glad you found a good guy, too many who are raised by abusive parents don't.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    You are looking at things from the wrong perspective. He wants to marry you because he knows that this should quiet your troubled heart. No one is forcing him to do this. The fact that he loves you enough to make such a commitment should not be doubted by such thoughts. It is completely disrespectful in my opinion.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.