how do I handle a boss who doesn't like me?
My boss is the founder of the company and he acts like king..Most female employees don't go well with him except for one whom has stayed in the team in the firm in the beginning. He showed great care for her. He despised me though. He didn't want to hear my opinions or views and find fault in all my analysis.. I am not sure I am that incompetent. But I must admit I am in higher position so he demands better analysis. I know I am not that incompetent. The problem is I am afraid I wont be able to find another job that pays me as much and I like the job I am doing. It's just my boss assigns me the sector that is not investable and I am not doing any deals that is progressing forward.
He is disrespectful of me in front of younger colleagues to shame me so younger colleagues do not have respect for me either. Especially his favorite lady.. I can see all younger colleagues getting promotions and advancing in life while I am retracting backwards because of this arrangement...I even think it's his strategy...I want to leave but I am afraid I am not being rational. If I switched jobs, there will always be another bump. I want to die even... My boss had hurt my self-esteem so much..It's hard being the breadwinner of the family too..I can't quit. I can't talk to him cos he is not really good with feedback...I should let the king be the king, I guess.But I can't see my future in this firm with this boss. Either I changed jobs or learned a way to settle with him......What should I do?
I work for investment company. So, I cannot switch department to get away from him.
- 3 weeks ago
He is a bad leader. Just find a new job. He will hurt you mentally in the long run.
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
So do bare minimum and tell him you don't get paid enough to analyze things from now on. Refuse to help him in anyway. Most people in his position don't realize they need their employees to propel them to greatness but their employees can quickly turn on them if they're acting like an idiot.
As an employee I'll help you out, give you all the credit for all my hard work and make you look good as long as you don't treat me like sh*t. Otherwise forget it. If he isn't going to bend over backwards for you then you don't do the same for him. That's how relationships work.
This job obviously isn't a good fit for you if there's so much turmoil between the two of you. That leads to lost productivity.
- 4 weeks ago
If the founder doesn't like you, get out of there asap.
UNLESS the founder respects your work but just doesn't get along with you personally. Then you are probably OK. But even in that case, I'd be looking for other jobs, but not urgently.
- JohnLv 74 weeks ago
Treat him nicely until you find another job.
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- GA41Lv 74 weeks ago
I am sorry you are hurting. Perceptions are often wrong or exaggerated, so you must establish whether your perceptions are factual or in your own mind. Most companies have performance evaluations periodically, does you performance evaluation reflect your perceptions?
It seems your first course of action is to make a decision - am I going to stay with this company or leave. This decision is needed to determine your next action steps. Deciding to stay and fight for your job does not prevent you from changing direction and leaving in the future. If you decide to stay, then it would still be prudent to explore other options in the job market.
Assuming you decide to stay for the time being, for your own sanity you must let go of worry and anxiety. This can only be done like diverting your thoughts and not feeding your insecurities.
Next, I think love is irresistible. Your relationship with your co-workers and boss should be based on an attitude of love. Be supportive of them, kind and forgiving. Try hard not to take offense at was is said. Show you boss and co-workers respect.Avoid the temptation of isolating yourself from the people who are making you uncomfortable. You desire a better relationship, this requires more time with these people. As you treat them with love and respect, you will often see a change in their attitude toward you. Maybe not instantly, but over time things will improve.
Now the nuts and bolts. You should try to listen intently and identify the specific areas your boss is criticizing in your analysis. You need to demonstrate that you are eager to meet his needs and learn from his counsel. You should also try to identify the specifics of what he may feel is deficient in your performance. Ask for feedback. Let him know that your desire is to contribute to the success of the team and for his personal success. Be receptive to constructive criticism. If you have a humans relations department, talk to HR about your concerns and seek their feedback.
Also, you are entitled to respect. If he belittles you in a meeting, have the courage to confront him in private and specifically give him feedback on what was done to offend you. Do not be confrontational, just ask him politely if he would desist in putting you down in front of your co-workers.
Lastly, it is a fact of life that sometimes your boss has decided he does not want you on the team. Under these circumstances, there is little you can do to improve your situation. He has made up his mind, and it will not change. (Please don't convince yourself this is the situation if it is not). I would not hesitate to confront him in private and ask him if this is the case in your regard. If you find yourself in this situation with no hope of working under another boss, you should find another job. Try to secure another job before you leave this job if possible.
I pray that you will be successful and that your happiness is restored.
- ibu guruLv 74 weeks ago
Considering the way you feel about this, you must find another job. Even if it pays less.
- MattmanLv 64 weeks ago
Being too much negative is not good at all.
- D.E.B.S.Lv 74 weeks ago
The fact you're asking here and not having this conversation with him says a lot about your work personality. If you want to be respected, then go get that respect. From what you've said, you are making assumptions about his actions. It could be he's doing the same about you. Does he actually realize he's not respecting your opinion and cutting you off? Sit down with him one on one and figure out where you stand.
Consider also that your boss is doing what he thinks best for the department and the company. It's common to not like someone that reports to you but you still can respect their work and promote them. Show/tell him you're wanting the same and that your knowledge and skills should be taken seriously.
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
What do you mean? You behave professionally and do your job to the best of your ability. There is no requirement that your boss like you.
If you want to look for another job, the only thing stopping you is you.
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
I want to fire you.