Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting 1 month ago

Why do some parents no longer get involved in their children's lives once the kid turns 18?

My eldest son is 33 and I am still giving him money, washing his clothes etc. My other son is 28 and I pay his bills and buy his groceries since he cannot afford to.聽

A couple of days ago my eldest son and his girlfriend had an argument, she locked him out of his house and refused to let him back in. He called me on his cell phone and I went down straight away and demanded she open the door 馃毆 which she did.聽

Many told me that I shouldn't get involved.

4 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    I agree that 18 is, in most cases, too young to be fully independent, but at 28 and 33, your sons are old enough to support themselves financially, unless they have a severe disability.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago


    Most young people are truly ready to mov臈-么n聽

    w/their live's around that exact age unless y么u'v臈

    go钮 some kinda harsh mental disorder of 钮h臈 s么艡钮.


  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I stand by my answer the last time you asked. And I agree that you seem to be deliberately enabling their dependence, which isn't healthy for them or you.

    I'm sorry to be so blunt, but Bad Parenting Alert. Your sons need to leave the nest, counting on a parent only in a genuine emergency.That means they work in order to pay their own ways in the world, even if it means they live very simply and work a job for which they are vastly overqualified. Give the son whose bills you pay a reasonable warning that you will no longer pay them, then don't, no matter what.They handle their own social and romantic lives, including the hard knocks. A son whose wife locks him out is a son who needs to get a motel room, crash on a friend's couch, or sleep in his car, not get a parent involved in the fight.My adult kids are not perfect--shocking!--but they manage their own lives reasonably well. Why don't yours?

  • Susie
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    That鈥檚 called enabling. 聽Why should children grow up and be responsible when they have their mommy to take care of them. 聽I have a feeling you are just a child yourself, but if not, you are doing your kids a great disservice. 聽Making sure they have food is one thing, but they should be doing YOUR laundry in return. 聽That鈥檚 what adults do.聽

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