Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

What should I do in this situation?

I’ve been with my bf for just over 3 years now, I struggle to get along with his family sometimes whenever we’re all together I feel like I’m not really there, I get sidelined a lot or just not invited all together, I try my best to get on with everyone and it’s not like we don’t get on it’s just not as much as I want it to it’s mainly with his mum, I can have a conversation quite easily with his dad but with his mum I’ll always be the one to say hello first or initiate conversation, with my bfs brother in law it’s completely different they’ll text, go to shows and go out shopping together, I’ve gone shopping with her once maybe twice, and we went to one shop, she just seems permanently off with me, my bf doesn’t get it and tells me everyone likes me and all that but I’m just not convinced, one time I noticed his mum made a lot of food, that afternoon my bfs sister and brother in law came over for dinner, I wasn’t asked and I think his mum saw my face, she said she didn’t know I was coming over but my bf always asks before I come over and id been there since the morning. I asked my bf about it and he didn’t know they were coming over either, it just seemed neither of us were told so I wouldn’t get invited I haven’t been round there recently (we both still live at home and saving for a mortgage) I’ll be standing at the door waiting for him if we’re going on a walk or something and his mum won’t even come to the door to say hello it’s just getting a bit much now 

2 Answers

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You can't change her but you can change you. Adjust your attitude to "That's just the way she is; doesn't mean I have to feel offended or disliked. I'm not going to make it important." Don't assume that her behavior is about you, you know? 

  • Brian
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    This is a very difficult situation indeed. Having gone through something similar ask your boyfriend to try and get you and his folks involved in something together... dinner out together, a show, a game of cards... something where you can all sit at a table and talk together. In time she may come around. My ex's mom was the same but after a few years she came around and actually enjoyed my company even had me "babysit" her oldest who had downs syndrome. His mom is not going to get to know you if you don't have some interactions between you two.

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