Denial of child ?

I’ve been seeing this man for almost 7 years. And we’ve had a good relationship. But his insecurities and abuse outweigh the good. He verbally and mentally abuses me. Before I got pregnant I had lost everything my apartment and job. I suffered a mental breakdown he was apart of it. I had traveled to Florida to find independence again. He hated it. He would accuse me of sleeping around while I was away trying to heal and recover my loses. I slept in my car for 3 months and still would be abused. I love him. And it hurts that’s I have to be treated this way. I’m a very attractive female and very rich men desire to have me, but I decline because my love for him. I could be very well off and comfortable and loved. But for some reason I have hope. Fast forward I’m back on my feet and have established living in Florida. I want to come back to him, but financially I can’t at the moment and I’m also pregnant now. Not only does he still have trust issues that I’m seeing someone else he’s also denying our son. That makes my stomach hurt and I cry and cry. And I just need a little advice on what to do. I really think I should leave. P.S I’m fine with giving birth alone. 

4 Answers

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think you have mental health issues which you need to address.  It's just that simple.  I was in an abusive marriage.  I left.  I did not have a mental breakdown, didn't live in my car, didn't go through anything you went through.  I DO know I did want our child to be raised in a house with an abusive man.  SO I LEFT.

    You owe it to your child to keep him/her safe.  It's about the child, not about you.  You need to find out why you consent to the abuse.  

    He can deny the child if that's his choice.  When the child is born, file for support, have Court-ordered DNA done, collect child support.  It's that simple.

    AND YOU OWE IT TO YOUR CHILD TO KEEP HIM SAFE.  If your sick relationship with the father is more important than the safety of your child, then surrender the child for adoption when he is born.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    Once you have kids your own desires becoming secondary. Get your life together for your children before you even consider dating anyone. Unless this guy who fathered your first child gets himself into extensive therapy (which you need too by the way) he cannot be the partner/father you fantasize him being. Going back to him would be a huge mistake until such time as he's put in the years of treatment to not be the abusive flake he is. All things considered you should probably put the baby you're now carrying up for adoption. You're barely capable of managing what you've already got on your plate. But don't forget to hit Baby Daddy #1 up for child support. 

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Are you ready for a change? Everyone will say you need professional help with your issues. So, you have a son with this man that abused you and you think this is love why when you are in the process of having another man's child. This is why I say you need professional help. I'd rather the father of your son deny him so your son doesn't grow up seeing the abuse if you were to go back to him. No one will agree that you need to go back to him especially if he's denying his son and you think he will accept another man's child. Unless I am reading your question wrong but none of it made sense so you do need to clear your mind and think of what you are saying and doing. By the way, why does it matter to you that he has trust issues and that you are with another man? This makes no sense. You need to leave all this behind and start a new life. Think about your son and this new baby coming into this environment. The authorities can come and take away your children if they suspect abuse. That includes emotional abuse. Who's more important your son and that new baby or that abusive man? If you pick that abusive man you cannot seek advice for you made your choice to live in an unhealthy environment. Think with your heart not your unstable mind. Those children desire to be happy and a safe home.

  • 3 months ago

    You should stop all contact with him and hire an attorney to extract the child support that you're entitled to. You might also want to take a long, hard look at why you subjected yourself to this dysfunctional relationship for as long as you did.

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