My SO said I have small breasts (Updated Question)?
Background- We have been together for a yr and a half. We were playing around privately and I was "showing off," out of the blue he says "small titties." I have to say, for a man of 30 years, he's quite the village idiot. Wouldn't be the first time he's said something insensitive but I can't say I am attracted to him after he said that. Not only was it hurtful, but now I'm wondering if he has ever found me attractive and if he might be cheating. I've had a lifelong insecurity about my breasts and it's a terribly sensitive topic. He's never insulted them, until now.
Addition-Idk what happened within me but I decided based on our history that it was best to end the relationship. It isn't clear whether I'd ever feel the same, and although he did apologize and also called me to talk, in both cases it didn't seem like he thought he did anything wrong. He said I took his comment in a way he didn't mean, and that it boiled down to a difference of perception. He then called and apologized again and tried to liken what he said to an inside joke between us. I was immediately filled with grief and told him that he should find a woman with large enough knockers to make him happy, and leave me alone. He said he will do that. I said I don't want him calling back EVER unless he takes responsibility for what he said, and just for clarity I was probably yelling and visibly upset when I said that.
What are your thoughts? Did I overreact?
- old beatnikLv 61 month ago
My college sweetheart had 34 C/Ds depending on her cycle. We were only married 1 yr bec we were hit by a drunk driver and I lost her. My second wife had adorable 32 AAs I prefer the smaller ones. They were far more sensitive and turned her on quickly. She nursed 2 babies with them. And they still looked like a teenager's when she was 70. No sag or droop. We spent a nude week with friends in our late 30s and she was the envy of both the other women. and the other men really loved them.
- Care411Lv 61 month ago
DO you have small t*ts? I have an average size d*ck. Some men absolutely love small t*ts. What kind of t*ts do you think he likes (no troll).
Would it be better he lied to you? I don't like small t*ts, most women and men don't. I have an average size penis. But I am still entitled to my dislikes. Its not my fault your t*ts are small or his. Why get bent out of shape about it?If he is a d*ck too often get a new BF.
- James W.Lv 71 month ago
This sounds disrespectful and mutual respect is one of the keys to any long lasting relationship.
If he's a strong man* who just messed up, possibly you can talk it through with him with a professional counselor. Counseling is often available for a low fee through health insurance. Almost everyone needs counseling at some point in their life.
A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).
Hope this helps!Source(s): The book True Love Lasts
- SlugLv 71 month ago
Its a tough one really, it may be that he likes small breasts and so felt like this was a compliment in his own mind however was unaware of your insecurities.
As women we assume that men in general should know what we are thinking, we can find some female friends who kind of get us in that way and will say things we are thinking but that is because they are women and have most likely struggled with the same insecurities as we have. Guys are different they can put their foot in their mouth all the time with women they don't mean to its just the same way they would joke with their male friends and feel comfortable enough to show you their jokey fun side and actually not mean any harm.
He has apologised for what he has said and yes your right he possibly doesn't fully understand the insecurity he has caused but if it had been directed at him and you had said "Small willy" he would probably felt pretty hurt. We can all make silly and callous remarks but being adults we should be able to discuss the reasons as to why we felt hurt about the comments even if previously when emotions were heightened our first resort was to be angry and argue it. Realistic though he apologised and you did not accept it because you wanted more than an apology yet he tried to understand what he had done wrong and tried to fix that again it was not enough and you wanted more (there is nothing he could have possibly done to make you see he was sorry) Your still angry and insecure about the comment however in your own mind what is it you want him to do to show he is sorry. I've been there myself in the past an apology is not good enough and I am still annoyed but haven't got a clue what would be enough (nothing really) Then that person reacts like the way he has because he is frustrated and doesn't know how to fix this so lashes out and says he will look for someone else, technically doing as you have told him and calling your bluff.
However despite the essay your asking on here so your not totally closed off but realistically he made a mistake, everyone in a relationship has done it, said things they shouldn't have said unaware of the repercussions but you do still care or you wouldn't be asking. my advice don't let a b**ch strop ruin something that might be good. Or throw something away because of your own insecurity of the future and how far you guys were getting in the relationship.
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- Mr. CoronaLv 61 month ago
My wife has A cups and they’re beautiful little breasts, she’s 53 and her boobs still look like an 18y/o’s. I tell her all the time I love her little boobs.
If he doesn’t appreciate them, believe me there are plenty of men like me who will.
- Anonymous1 month ago
Hi All. This is the poster of the question. I understand you all have different opinions and that you don't have all the information, either. I'm reading each answer closely and taking it in. As I said before he has a history of making insensitive remarks, but I agree his pros outweigh the cons. He most recently actually broke up with ME and we got back together in a way where I felt he was pretending the breakup never happened, and that contributed to how I reacted here too. When that happened it was over me not accepting that he wants his relatives to live with us. I told him that I accept his request, but that'd have to eventually find a new place. He said it was a deal breaker and he's out. So I was sitting there thinking to myself, it's okay for you to unilaterally end it over something that hasn't even happened but I have to sit there listening to you demean me for something I can't even change?
That being said, I ask you all to remember that in my anger I suggested he find someone new. And he agreed to do that. Not sure if that was written clearly before.
- 1 month ago
Just as a general rule of thumb always talk to your partner before you break up with them. You obviously had other reasons besides just the breasts thing. But it's always a good idea to tell your partner why you're upset with them and give them a chance to apologize before you end it
- chris nLv 71 month ago
You've been together for 18 months so I would have thought he would know your likes/dislikes and things you might be sensitive about. He has apologised but you don't want to accept it and that's fine. Whether it was a crass joke or, as you thought - a deliberate hurtful remark - is neither here nor there now is it. You have made it plain that you don't want to see him again and it appears he's accepted it. I think it might be good for you to have a couple of sessions of counselling just to find out why this episode hurt you so much. It sounds as though you don't have too strong a self-image. Good luck. Let the guy go and move on with your life. Dwelling on it isn't helping you at all is it.
- n2mamaLv 71 month ago
Yes. While his comment might not have been in the best taste, you have blown it way out of proportion. Breasts come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and if you are insecure about your breasts, that’s your own issue to sort through. You’ve have blown one comment up into thinking he might be cheating on you? It might be best that this relationship is over, but before you get involved with anyone else you may want to consider dealing with your own body issues.
- Anonymous1 month ago
You're the second person I saw today break up with a guy over your insecurity on your boobs. That's really sad.
This other woman said she dumped her and bf because he suggested a boob job.
I feel sorry for guys that get with such superficial women eager to drop a guy like a hat or bad habit over a comment or question.
You said he called you small boobs? Call him small dlck and see how he likes it.
You suspect cheating too?
"The villiage idiot"? Hes 30? I thought you were 14 and immature reading your post. Grow up.
You did him a favor amd you're not mature enough for a committed relationship. People joke around. Get off your high horse or date a guy who does not joke around or say comments if you're that freaking self conscious.
You don't love him either.