Why does he think we can make things work when he got another girl pregnant?
We weren't together when he got with this girl. We were break, and I thought it would be a temporary thing, but I can't ever take him back now.
If things were different I would have, but he's going to have a baby with someone else and I can't move past that. I'd feel like an Imposter. It wouldn't just be me and him again ever. We have been messaging, and he said that he couldn't accept that he and I won't ever be together again, but I don't get what is going on in his brain to make him think we could possibly work things out now.
- Common SenseLv 71 month ago
He wants to manipulate you into a relationship. Of course things will never ever be the same between you two.
He will have a child and presumably shared custody.
In which case, you will be in a sort of mommy role, taking care of another woman''s baby with him. Which limits your social life, bigtime.
He will be paying child support until 2038.
You will have to deal with the baby mama and her kid, always. The custody of this kid will forever dictate what you can and cannot do with him.
You did not sign up for this. So, unless you change your mind and want his lifestyle, then tell him to get lost.
Who cares what he thinks when you can make your own choices?
- DavidLv 61 month ago
This conflict in your brain is caused by the difference in thinking, men versus women. For a man, sex can often be JUST sex...and nothing else. Even if the sex results in a pregnancy, it does not necessarily mean anything...to the sperm donor. Now, women CAN (and sometimes do) have meaningless sex. However, women are hard-wired to develop feelings for men that they have sex with. So you have to be almost super-human to be a woman and NOT develop feelings for a guy who you are having sex with. For that reason, many women assume that if there is sex involved, then their must be "love" involved, and that feeling MUST be MUTUAL. But that is wrong, wrong WRONG.
So "he" is obviously emotionally attached to you. Meanwhile, he got another girl pregnant, but he probably did not mean to...and it's obvious (to me at least) that the mother of his baby means nothing to him, emotionally speaking. He has ZERO romantic interest in the mother of his baby. TO him, she was just a piece of @ss, to put it bluntly. It's unfortunate that he managed to get her pregnant, as he has no intention of ever having a real relationship with her.
So in his mind, the fact that he's having a baby is a side issue. It's not the end goal of his life to have a baby and then, just have a baby...
Your guy wants a real relationship. He can't have that with the mother of his baby, as he doesn't have that kind of emotional attachment with her. Your guy would PREFER to have a relationship with YOU, because he very obviously does love YOU.
But here's the point you need to get straight. You can take him back, or not. But either way, he's not going end up in a relationship with his baby's mother. He will be sad and broken-hearted if he can't work things out with YOU. But eventually, if you push him away, he WILL find some other woman to love...
And the mother of his child? She's just the mother of his child. There's no emotional attachment there, and there never will be.
Basically, it boils down to...you are WAY more emotionally involved with the other woman than your man ever will be.
- anesa714Lv 41 month ago
He thinks that because you keep talking to him. Based off what I read above it sounds like you’re still not over him, he probably can feel that too just by the fact you keep having contact with him. The quickest and easiest way to move on is to find someone new, not a serious relationship but more so a distraction until you can figure out what you want out of a relationship. Also, another thing would be to just spend more times with your friends (if possible considering the pandemic) or pick up a hobby. One thing that I find odd is that he got another girl pregnant and is expecting a child with her but texting someone else. You should wonder what type of man he is and if that is the type of man you want for your future husband. He doesn’t sound like the commitment type, or at least doesn’t think things through before acting on things. Either way, take a few days don’t respond to him and spend the time truly thinking about what you want out of a relationship. You already know that you can’t overlook what he did, you’re just prolonging the inevitable. His indiscretion will always cause a rift in your relationship.
- Coach SimonLv 71 month ago
While you are messaging him, he thinks that there is still a chance. You'd effectively be giving him permission to do the same again if you did get back with him.
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- TjLv 71 month ago
Break off all ties to the jerk....You have no future with this dud.
- RickLv 71 month ago
I agree with you. Things have changed and now his gf or wife and the child are going to be a part of any future relationship he has.
- FireplaceLv 61 month ago
You KNOW him, and you can't figure out what is going on in his brain. So why do you think strangers on the internet who have never met him would know what is going on in his brain?
- StanleyLv 61 month ago
A lesson to be learned. Save sex for marriage the way God wants it to be and things like this wont happen.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral