Is this sentence worded right? ?

Talking about a dream.. 

In the dream I was about to get hit by a huge wave, and something lifted me into the air before it happened. But I was too distracted to pay attention to who lifted me. 

“I guess I was too busy watching below to care to notice who lifted me up...” I don’t know if the “to care to notice” part makes sense... 

2 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    I would delete the "care to know" phrase because of its suggestion of casual indifference -- hardly consistent with the drama of being rescued by a mysterious force from a huge wave. It's like saying "I couldn't be bothered."

    It would be better to just state the facts of the dream without characterizing your feelings.

    Why not say:

    I was too distracted by the threat from the huge wave below to pay attention to ( how I was lifted up ) ( who lifted me up ).

    ------------------

    The narrative changes from "something" to "who" -- suddenly saying that you were lifted up by a person, rather then by an impersonal force that is suggested by the word "something."

    If that is correct, you should change "something lifted me into the air" to "someone lifted me into the air."

    If it was not a person who lifted you up, but an unknown force, you should change "who lifted me up" to "how I was lifted up."

    Cool dream!

  • RP
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Try this: I must have been too busy watching below to notice who lifted me.

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