ny asked in HealthMental Health · 8 months ago

My husband doesn't support my dream! ?

I'm nearing 30 in few months and recently I had mental breakdown because I feel I wasted my life. 

I had always wanted to become a couture  designer from very young age. But I had to study a different course in university since my parents didn't approve it. After doing my masters, I did a small diploma course in fashion and later on tried starting a women's wear brand when I was 24, but it wasn't successful. By 25, I got married and  later, started working in a totally different field for two years. 

Now when I look back,I feel that I have totally wasted my life. My ultimate dream is to be  couture fashion designer but none is there to support me. Although my husband earns well, he still wants me to have a regular work and focus on my goal on the side. He wants me to earn until I make profit from the fashion. But how am I suppose to do full time job and focus on my dream? I come home, do exercise , do cooking from scratch.. No time even to relax!   

I am a highly sensitive person and I need time to rejuvenate myself alone, from outside world or else I'll go into depression. If I can't have at least 7 hours of sleep, I tend to have head ache and become non functional!!  

Now, none is there to support my dream. I feel helpless and lost! 

Idk if I'm over reacting. Is there anyone who is able to juggle both full time job and focus on dream with adequate sleep? 

5 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Time management. Full time job, average transportation time, gym, cooking from scratch, and 7 hours of sleep is not 24 hours. Plus there are weekends. Write down what you do every day and see what can be cut out. I e.g. rarely watch TV anymore, and have limited myself to reading just 1-2 books a month.

    You write about etsy in your reply to Anonymous further down, and you don't need 7-8 hours a day to start up on etsy. You can start small, grow from there (and see if you have what it takes) and then start cutting down on work as you start getting a second income from your design.

    First of all start by figuring out why your first business didn't work out. I'm sure there are important lessons to be learned there.

    Partner support is also emotional and mental support. The biggest support I get from my husband is that he believes in me and that he's okay with me sitting in my office almost every, single evening working on my projects. Not every spouse would be okay with that.

  • 8 months ago

    You need to MAKE A PLAN in order to pursue your own dream yourself!

    Look, surely you can devote at least one hour per day taking an online course in design, clothing manufacture and tailoring.  You can get a sketch pad and start designing.  Work on your dream part time until you have an item that you, yourself can manufacture and sell through a local boutique.

    And there are computer programs that allow you to try out and test designs, help with making patterns of designs.  There are websites that list and sell fabrics and all kinds of goods for manufacturing.

    This can be your hobby and your relaxation in the evening and on weekends.

    Also, get yourself a subscription to a local trade magazine that feeds your appetite for the newest and latest ideas.

    I wouldn't give up your dream.

  • 8 months ago

    All I can say is that there surely must be a way to be happy besides this dream of yours. Psychologists and philosophers have been working on this for thousands of years. The Chinese have an expression - "a persistence that recognizes more than one path." Please don't see your husband as a villain. He seems like a reasonable person who doesn't want your heart to be broken like so many people who try to succeed in the arts.

  • LAN
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Why  should he support your unrealistic fantasies?  Your parents couldn't have stopped you from taking courses for that type of job.  All you would have had to do is at least minor in related courses.   Grow up and stop inventing imaginary tragedy.   You are just a pity seeking loser crying about what might have been

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  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    You have goals BUT there is some unrealistic expectations on your part too.  Successful Couture designers are few and far between.  It is almost IMPOSSIBLE to achieve that high a goal so you've set really unreasonable pressure on yourself from the start.  You can work a normal job, and continue to flourish in your fashion goals on the side as long as you keep focus.  Getting sleep should be a priority over the fashion dreams right now...30 is NOT old by any means and you have time to build your brand.  Depression cannot lessen unless you treat the underlying cause...please see a therapist for this.  Most of all, stop blaming your husband for these things...if he hasn't outright cut you off from your dreams, then he is still being supportive.  Most households have two working spouses given the state of the economy (at least in my country).  You still have choices, chose to fight the depression as much as possible.  take care.

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