Last choice for Maid of Honor?


So my brother is marrying my sister-in-law and I'm currently 4 hours away at college working and doing online classes. I'm studying to go to medical school so obviously I cannot be at home a lot.

I would say we have a great relationship as I have babysat my nephew sooo many times, we went on vacation together, and she's basically been my sister. Surprisingly, she asked me to be a bridesmaid and asked if I would be mad about it. I told her no but in reality I was a little sad and was curious as to who it was. I called my mom and told her about it and realized that my cousin (who gets everything handed to her from her dad passing away) would be her maid of honor. I was not mad but just hurt that she did not pick me. So, of course, my mother called my sister-in-law and told her everything I said and so my sister-in-law called me back and said:

"Your mom got mad that I wasn't picking you so you will be my maid of honor, I am not mad about it but I just wanted *my cousin* to be it since she is helping me out more"  - I cannot help that I actually have a job and school though!!

My cousin has anxiety and depression and already expressed how she is not comfortable making a speech. So how is she supposed to be the maid of honor??

I told her to pick my cousin if she really wanted and now I just feel guilty. What should I do?

1 Answer

  • drip
    Lv 7
    7 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    The bride has every right to pick her own Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids.  Really she should only consult her groom, especially if it concerns his family. Your mom should never of guilted the bride into making you MOH.

    You should tell the bride she should stick to her original wedding party and the you are thrilled to be in the wedding party in anyway. You will try to help out as much as you can as a bridesmaid.

    The Maid of Honor doesn’t have to make a toast (not a speech) 

    The only two people planning  should be the bride and groom. They should be pulling most of the weight in getting things done.  The wedding party has no responsibilities to plan or run wedding errands. They can help out as they are willing and able to. 

    If she has already asked the Maid of Honor it would be terrible of you and your mom to make the bride now tell the women you’re out. 

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.