Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 4 months ago

I'm 26F and my boyfriend is 21M. His mom doesn't approve of our relationship due to our age difference. How can I get over this?

As you can see by the title, my boyfriend and I are 5 years apart. Now my boyfriend (we'll call him Chris) is out-of-state right now, and what he and his mom texted about a few days ago worried me.

Chris: My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months now.

His mom: What school did she go to again?

(A few questions later)

His mom: How old is she again?

Chris: 26

His mom: (No reply)

She still hasn't replied to him. Now I've never met his mom yet, but from what I hear from Chris, she's very overprotective. I don't know if she just doesn't like my age or what, but I've always been the type of person to want to get along with everyone, and so this is messing me up in the head very badly. I already feel a little self-conscious about our age difference to the point of wishing I was his age, but throw his mom into the mix and it's a whole different beast...

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  • 4 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    My fiance is 21 and I'm 41. I am two years younger than his mum. 

    I too sometimes wish I was younger but not because of other people's judgment or how much his mum must be mortified about our relationship, I wish I had more time with him before I am an old woman. We are planning a future together.

    Take it from someone who has every reason to be self-conscious  a about the age difference in her relationship, you don't! 

    5 years is nothing and if anything it's sexy. It's sexy that your bf can sweep a woman of 26 at 21 off her feet. It's sexy that he can hold his own with someone 5 years older. It's sexy my fiance can do all that with a woman of 41, but unlike you, on paper I am much bellow what my fiance deserves, and I'm not getting any younger. I am his mother's age on top of all that....

    The thing is, I'm not his mother and I don't have any 20 to children myself, and I adore him.

    He is an adult, a young adult but an adult.

    I would love to get along with his mum but I am realistic about it  it being possible at least for now. In my case, I completely understand her disappointment and I simply forgive her anything hurtful or bad she does or says.

    If she will ever learnt that we aren't living on paper and that I actually make her son very happy, she can only have a chance of that, if I let her current feelings an actions go.

    My fiance would never let her bully me or torture me in any way, or meddle, so I feel safe to just let anything she says and does go...

    My advice just be honest and respectful but manage your expectations about your bf mum.

    As long as he wants you and loves you, and she can't turn him against you or get him to leave you, that is all that matters.

    Would it be great if you MIL would like you, oh sure. Is it a deal breaker that she doesn't? Of course not.

    You should understand that 5 years isn't a shocking age difference and that you have a great chance of you bfs mum coming round.

    Unlike me. Haha And that's OK. I understand why people think poorly of a 41 woman to helplessly in love with a 21 to man, but I am just too happy with my fiance to care. 

    Enjoy your relationship and love your bf. Everyone else is entitled to their own opinions. Be kind and understanding.

  • 4 months ago

    21 and 26 is HARDLY an issue

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Anybody else read 26F as a bra size.. 

  • 4 months ago

    Your decision. Your life. His decision. His life. Make up your mind. End of story.

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  • 4 months ago

    For a 26 year old, you're completely retarded. That does not mean anything if she doesn't reply. Go take your medication, retard.

  • 4 months ago

    Whoa...here's an irrefutable fact.  No...no...woman is good enough for mum's little boy.

    I speak from experience.

    My mom did not want me to marry "that California girl."  I did anyway and we stayed married for 52 years until my California girl passed away.  

    And my California wife did not want our son to marry that socialite girl who was clearly an upper class female who would disappoint our son.  That socialite and my son have been married 35 years and we have three great grandkids.

    Bottom line, I think it's written in their genes.  Moms will not like any woman who dares to take their sons away from them.

    So my advice:  go with the blows.  Just ignore your mom's diatribes and slurs, and remember that no matter what age your GF might be, your mom will still not like her.  You might do well to discuss this with your GF; so that she'll understand that it's not about her, it's about any woman who'd dare take you away from your mom.

  • hart
    Lv 6
    4 months ago

    you want to marry hes mum or your boyfriend ?

  • 4 months ago

    Hello Miss Anonymous:

         No matter what age males are, the thing that matters is that Males always enjoy sex 10 times more than females, because they never take pregnancy pills, they never get period.

     They never will be worried about being raped or pregnant. they never need to visit a Gynecologists. And they are never called a ***** in the world. So forget ur 10% sex joy and think about life joys + the 10% of sex joys in Marriage.  otherwise, u'd be a great looser.  as in " all by myself " song says.

  • Paul
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    26:21 might seem like a large gap, but 35:30 isn't.  Five years either way.

  • 4 months ago

    It sounds a lot more like SHE is the one who has to get over this, not you. You are comfortable with the age difference, your BF is comfortable with the age difference, and if he caves to what his mommy wants, then you're better off out of this NOW before it gets any more serious. It isn't a pattern that will magically disappear if you ever make the relationship permanent. He is the one who has to stand up for what he wants. Not you. I'd do nothing--just wait to see how it pans out. If he decides to break up with you because his mother isn't happy, you are much better off without him. 

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    My mother would approve of your age, or maybe she won't care. My mother said to me she wants me to be happy. I don't know what his mom told him.

    I am a male by the way, and I am in my thirties. I am also single.

    I understand how his mom wants to know more about you.

    In my opinion, I don't think what you saying looks good. His mom is not approving of you. For her not to accept you isn't a good sign. Maybe she will, but it seems like to me she doesn't accept you.

    Not everyone is going to like you even though you get along with everyone, so you should not allow this to effect you in any way.

    I think what his mom is asking are good questions. I might ask those questions too if I was his parent.

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