Should I trust him?..🤔?

I meet back up with a guy who I havent seen in 20yrs. I never knw him as in conversation just round the way. Whn I realized who he was I message him and ask did he remember me of course he message back and said yes I had the biggest crush on you. So from that point we just started conversation and catching up. I seen his fb page so of course I asked was that his gf he said yes. So I knew I had to stop before I started to catch feelings because me and him was on that level where we both knew there was a interest in one or another. We still talk but ik he has a woman so I do miss him because he is one of those types that has a real personality and you can talk with him like a real caring friend. He did tell me he love his girl and that the situation he in isn't good or bad but he dont see it lasting because she want a better man than him I guess saying he dont do enough. He calls and texts me always smiling and sending kissing emojis, I force myself to hold back because im not the type to put in work trying to make myself look better than her. We stay hours away. I'm celibate and he knows of course I've been sexless for over 4yrs. He dont talk about having sex with me or anything in that circle he just says he miss me and thinks of me and can't wait to kiss me and hug me. He never make me feel uncomfortable

 He is a good listener and that's y it's so hard for me to back off. So wht do I do.in this situation. Do I stay in contact or let him come to me or back away altogether

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  • 5 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    If he's attached, he's attached.  Good for you not trying to steal him from someone else.  So from one man to a woman who is infatuated with a guy that's taken, leave him be.  Men are scum/pigs.  If they can get some action on the side, they will do whatever they can to do so.  Saying things like "Oh I don't really like her."  (well then why is he still with her?)  "I actually like you better" again why is he still there with her?  He's giving you the kisses and hugs stuff.  Again would you want that if you were his woman and he's giving those kisses and hugs to someone else?  Right now he's sort of playing the field.  Getting you to trust, give in, and to accept him.  But again if the shoe was on the other foot, and you were his woman and he's trying to kiss and hug on some other girl, what would you think or do?

    I am glad you can have conversation with him.  But there's not consequence for him in 'talking' to you.  Unless the other women sees or finds out he's saying some of these things to you.  If he can do this to this woman without breaking it off, what would he do if you guys got together and then he sees finds someone else he likes?  Will he tell you the truth?  Or would he try to sneak around and tell other women he likes that he wishes he could kiss them and hug them?  Grant it, it's not sex yet.  But what if it leads to that later?

    Do you think that kissing him or someone kissing him other than his GF is not cheating?  Would you care if he were your man and he was kissing someone else?

    Just things to think about before you start laying tracks down for this man...

    You also say she wants a different man, better than him.  Well if that's the case, why is she still with him and why is he accepting of still being with her if they both don't see this going further?  Unless they are using each other for sex/money/companionship that won't last?   That's pretty fishy IMO.  I would say let him be and if he's done with her and wants you then let him come after you.  But stay out of it for now till he is free and clear.  No reason to try to build an attachment for EITHER of you  that may not happen.  It sounds pretty clear that you both have feelings for each other.  But is that a good way to start?  While he's still involved with someone?  

  • Teal
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    He is lying to his girlfriend and pursuing you behind  her back, I think you already know the answer. He won't treat you any better and he has no more respect for you than he does for her. Being a "good listener" isn't an exceptional quality. The time you waste on him could be spent with someone who is genuinely interested and not just trying to have some fun on the side.

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    No harm in being friendly.  But if he wants more you may have to draw back

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    You respect yourself by telling him that if he does break up with her, that you'd love to meet with him but that it's not fair for either of you, nor the girlfriend to live your lives without integrity.  He'll reel you in and keep you both. You deserve better. If he's creeping around on her, he'll do it to you too.

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  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    just do the first couple of meetings at a VERY public place ..........

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