How can I deal with trauma from assault?
I was assaulted twice during my first year of college and the trauma is getting really bad. Once I processed what happened after the two assaults I started working two jobs and kept myself busy 24/7 but now I am back at my parents house for summer and I don't have anything to keep me busy. I keep getting really triggered by little things and having flashbacks and bad dreams. I am really depressed and have not hung out with any of my friends because I am scared to get hurt again and I feel disconnected with everyone. I'm scared to tell my parents especially my mom because she is so emotional and will probably make it about her. I am really struggling and trying to ask for help but my parents just shut me out right when I am I think I am about to tell them. I'm scared if I tell them they will ask me a lot of questions and I cannot deal with that. I don't even like hugs anymore, they are triggering, even from my own family. My mom keeps trying to hug me and tonight she did and I said please stop I really don't want to be hugged and she said "whatever just add that too the list of things you don't need from me" which really stung. I don't want to be selfish but I think I have PTSD from my sexual assaults and I feel so alone. I want to go to therapy but I can't afford it so i am waiting to go back to college to go to a therapist at my university bc it is cheaper than going to my dr. please give me advice
- Care411Lv 61 month ago
What kind of assault? Rape? Emotional Trauma? If it happened twice - it is probably CPTSD, its different and much worse than PTSD. Google C-PTSD (Complex-PTSD). It is caused by reoccuring static trauma where as PTSD is the single event. Assuming your parents are borderline narcissistic, they ignore/abandon you probably had issues growing up(parents shut you out, dont validate, say you too sensitive). Again "static" multiple occurrences of prolonged trauma cause CPTSD. The fact you had 2 issues with abuse within 1 year,if you are not trolling indicates you were targeted. Is there a pattern of this? Men/women target you? CPTSD is uncommon but more common in women. At an earlier age BPD/CPTSD can set you apart. Rather than help you.... men/especially women are inclined to emotionally abuse/isolate - push away. Men use you for sex/dating. There really are not many things that cause this. If you believe it being gifted/emphatic (psychic) 100% causes it. You draw attract negative energy. If you dont believe in that ignore it - it is also the most uncommon.
So whats going on? Did you just have 2 unlucky times in 1 yrs first yr in college? Or is there a pattern of you attracting the wrong people, people bullying, abandoning or frequently not validating you. Is there a pattern of this stuff? I work with women with CPTSD; PTSD, BPD & BD. You don't seem stupid Whats going on? Why is your family ignoring you? Thats pretty toxic and not ok they are not doing more or you are afraid to tell them. THEY SHUT YOU OUT. Look it often goes really wrong talking about emotional/sexual abuse. I mean google it the state of mental health in the USA or most places on the planet is beyond broken. Under paid and over worked university therapists. Often they will tell you - you are too sensitive, seeking attention, load you up on toxic meds..... Or just assign a label - as crazy. Modern therapy is frequently more concerned with profit than anything. When you look at the cost of university anywhere on earth whether government or individual pays for it especially in the USA/UK it is profit focused. This is true in Australia too. A therapist who doesn't care could recommend you for unnecessary treatment, going to hospitals or misdiagnose ....
I'd figure out whats going on: Gifted, Empath, CPTSD; PTSD - similar problems/patterns for a long time? Interpersonal relationship issues, people ignoring, judging or abandoning? You attract the wrong men? Women seem petty, jealous, competitive or push you away? Do you really think a university therapist will give you the needed time, do more good than harm? You just did not give enough information. Whats going on though.....
- LANLv 71 month ago
It's a pity that your parents didn't raise you to be able to deal with life. Now that I am pointing out what a snowflake you are will you up the anti and claim that it was a sexual assault so you can milk as much drama as possible from your obviously imaginary situation.
Since all colleges have people that can help students with real problems like this why are you asking us instead of actually talking to a professional?
- Judy and CharlieLv 71 month ago
I have some advice for you.
DO NOT INVOLVE YOUR PARENTS in this. They sound selfish and totally uncaring and could make your condition far worse. So, don't give them that opportunity.
I want to advise you to become independent, self-reliant and responsible for yourself here....DO NOT DEPEND ON THEM.
You need to make an appointment to see your regular family doctor about this. Make an appointment with the same doctor you got for physical from before college and talk about to this to him in the privacy of his office, one on one. He may suggest a short term trial of anti-anxiety medication. You are still covered under your parent's insurance for this and as an adult over 18, you have a federal right to medical privacy.
Also, I hope that you REPORTED THESE CRIMES TO THE POLICE! This is the MOST IMPORTANT thing you must do because with justice comes healing.
- Pearl LLv 71 month ago
maybe you should get some counseling