Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Why is it hard to find serious/real relationship (Girlfriend/wife)?

I apologize in advance for the long description.

Why is it hard to find serious/real relationship? I’m 25 years old men, with bachelor degree, good stable job, good financially, and I take care of my body and face. It’s easy to get a girlfriend because there are some that have crush on me, but they don’t match my requirements. I’m looking for someone who is successful, decent looking, and good personality. I am trying to get married and start a family. I don’t think I am asking for too much. I am finding few girls that I like and matches my 3 requirements but they are either taken, or not interested in getting to know me, or think I am creepy so they don’t accept my social media requests in the first place.

I asked my best friends (ladies and guys) to find me someone that they think I might like, but that didn’t help either. Not sure what to do at this point, how to find the girl that I am looking for. I am not looking for a perfect girl, or a model, I know that doesn’t exists. But I simply just want someone with these 3 simple general requirements. Decent looking, good personality, and successful (have a good job or degree). Am I rushing the process? but I am ready now to settle and have a family so why wait longer. Should I just keep dating the girls that likes me even if I think that we won’t have future together? Should I keep looking for the right fit girl? Any suggestions? Thank you for taking the time to read my question. I hope you all stay safe and healthy. 

3 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think you need to lose the requirements, that is definitely holding you back, I’m not saying go for someone you find unattractive with a personality of a soggy biscuit and someone with no drive for life  but don’t put so much pressure on it. If you meet someone you wouldn’t normally look at but has the personality and the degree don’t look the other way so fast, or if she has great looks a good personality but no degree maybe she’s working towards something, everyone does things at their own pace, and when you have requirements it really holds you back from being happy! I’m similar, I’m 25 looking to settle would like a fairly good looking guy I personally don’t like a scrawny guy or a Dwayne Johnson type lol (although there is nothing wrong with either, it’s just not for me) it’s the personality and the compatibility, look for what you like to do and what she likes to do, if she doesn’t want to settle then you know she’s not for you, and I know that even though you’re only 25 I personally think to myself that I should be getting married and having kids like I’m getting “old” but we are only 25 we still have loads of time! Be patient take away the requirements but keep what you would like from a woman and what you want in life and if it matches up with what she wants too etc...

    • Mario1 month agoReport

      I totally understand and now it makes sense. Thank you so much for taking the time to write your answer  :) 
      Best of luck with your future!! 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Honestly, having “requirements” for girls makes you kind of sound like a douche. You shouldn’t dismiss dating someone because of the way they look or what their education is. You should at least take these girls out on dates first and see if maybe you like them better in person than over text, and if you don’t like them after one or two dates then just break things off gently. But using your three “requirements” before getting to know someone is going to leave you in a world of hurt and probably alone for a long time. I am trying not to sound harsh, but it’s honestly the truth. No woman wants to hear that she passed some “requirements” or basically “rules of dating” you. Hope this helps.

    • Mario1 month agoReport

      Make sense and I think you right. I like your point of view. Thank you! 

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  • 1 month ago

    Based on my experience, how my boyfriend got me. 

    1. You need to work hard into getting the girl you love into your life. Eg. Your siblings wedding / someone close to you funeral. Just like you hope the woman will be part of your memories and part of your life, you bring her in.

    2. She will have no idea what kind of person you are. You will need to show through different places and times in front of her the things that you enjoy doing, the people who are close to you. Basically if she is going to be your wife, she needs to know who this stranger is. 

    3. You will need to communicate to her in the way she understands. If she does not even know it was meant for her, obviously she can't react. Eg. Taking the same bus, changing your schedule for her. She will never know because that's what you do. But if you plainly tell her, let her know you did it for her, then she can have an idea where you are going. 

    You basically cannot expect without revealing, inviting, communicating what she knows or doesn't know, what she needs to know. Nothing will ever happen if you don't even step out and experience yourself. Relationship is hard work, you need to build a family foundation. People are also forgetful, be forgiving, have timely reminders of the love you have for her. 

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